Can they save him from himself?
by bgnaraharisetty
Summary: Kensi is attacked as a dirty cop tries to get Deeks off his tail after an undercover operation. Deeks goes off the grid for revenge. Can the team save Deeks from himself or will they be too late to save him? Will Kensi accept their 'thing? Will Deeks shut down to protect the one woman he cares about?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I do not own NCIS LA or its characters.

**Author's Note:** I am neither a resident of LA nor a native english speaker. I have used some fictitious locations and apologize in advance for any mistakes.

**Monday 1100 Hours; Pacific Beach Medical Hospital:**

A beautiful woman in her late twenties is lying on a bed, injuries marring her delicate features. Every time she wakes up, her eyes are searching for someone and as she realizes that he is not around, she is being sedated to keep her from causing any more damage to herself. An African-American man in his early-forties is seated next to her bed silently praying that the person she is searching for is found soon.

Even though she suffered just a concussion and a major laceration to her forearm and a few minor cuts and bruises on her face and arms, her psychological condition is what prompted such a long stay in the hospital. The Doctors are unable to determine if the psychological state is a direct result of her concussion or the fact that person she is consistently searching for isn't present next to her.

In the waiting room, A Caucasian male in his early-forties is observing everyone walking in the corridor past the room where the woman is currently placed in. He is willing for his phone to ring, to tell him the whereabouts of a blonde-haired, blue-eyed surfer who is the only one who has the power to calm the beauty's agitated state. Even though the Doctors spin a web around both the men with a lot of Medical Jargon, they both and their Boss, a petite brunette woman in her late fifties know that the beauty is waiting for the one man to come back to her.

A tall brunette man in his late thirties is seated at the nurse's station in a Doctor's attire keeping an eye on whatever had been happening around him. He had kept his eyes peeled for the Detective to show up. He seriously doubted his abilities as a psychiatrist as the Detective hadn't been seen since the time he was sent home to recover from the emotional breakdown he suffered on seeing the young woman on the hospital bed.

In a condemned building that looks like a dilapidated one from the outside, two people are working feverishly, looking into every case file that was ever worked by the undercover detective, looking for clues if any of his aliases are still being used outside anywhere that can lead them to the detective. Neither of them has the heart to deliver the news that they are not closer to identifying the Detective any more than they have been over the past ten days.

Even more worrisome situation is that dead bodies have started piling up in LA coroner's office. Each dead body telling the team that the Detective is still out there exacting revenge from the cartel that has put the beautiful woman in hospital. It had been ten days since the woman was discovered beaten badly and left for dead in an alley by the cartel. The cartel targeted the woman since she was often seen with the undercover detective who had ruined the cartel's business a few months before by apprehending their suppliers and the dealers.

A corrupt detective on the cartel payroll had revealed the details of the Detective to the cartel. The dirty cop, Detective Albert Driscoll had confessed after witnessing the barbaric way in which a cartel member identified as one of the men who took part in the beating was killed. He confessed to being on the cartel's payroll and to being the one who revealed the details of the undercover detective.

Lieutenant Bates is furious over what had happened over the past ten days beginning with discovering a NCIS Special Agent beaten and left for dead in an alley in a gang neighborhood. It had been eight days since first dead body showed up in the same alley as the NCIS Agent was found, with clear indications that he had been tortured to give up the location of the fellow cartel members. The perpetrator knew the law and forensic counter measures really well. There had never been anything that was found that could lead them to a suspect. But both NCIS and LAPD people knew that it wasn't an attempt to mask his identity but to remain outside long enough to take out the entire cartel. Even though the NCIS OSP LA team, entire LAPD knew who it is, there was not a damn thing they could do.

Nell Jones rushed down the stairs towards Hetty's office.

"Hetty" Nell panted trying to catch a breath.

"Ms. Jones. Have you found anything?" Hetty asked.

"Deeks had been to the hospital." Nell said.

"What?" Hetty frowned. She knows that both Callen and Sam wouldn't dare to hide such an important detail from her particularly when the blonde surfer's life could be in danger.

"He'd been to the hospital every day. I haven't found anything to tell us if he had been to Kensi's room but he had been there." Nell answered taking the glass of water offered by Hetty.

Hetty now knew that it was a very bad idea to send Deeks back to his home when he came to see Kensi. It seemed logical at the time and what Nate had suggested she did. She should have known that the only thing that could keep him grounded was Kensi and sending him home is one of the worst things she ever did.

As she reviewed the security cam footage at the hospital she could see the hunch of the shoulders and how by each day he was becoming a shell of himself. Hetty hated not being in control. For someone who dictates the questions for the Presidential debates, being in control is what it all comes down to. She is now facing the situation where her team is falling apart.

One agent is in a Hospital, One agent or liaison, as LAPD wanted to term him had gone rogue taking out one of the most dangerous cartels and the remaining members are tasked with protecting the injured agent and capturing the rogue liaison. Hetty sighed and prayed that she should find a solution as her heart rate sped up a little.


	2. Chapter 2

**Monday 12:00; An abandoned cold storage warehouse outside LA:**

Five cartel members are hanging upside down by their ankles and were drenched in cold water. As Detective Deeks walked in front of them, all five battle-hardened cartel members shivered. The cold water or the cold breeze had nothing to do with the shiver. It was all caused by the death in Deeks' eyes. The once soulful eyes lightened with mirth and mischief, are now completely devoid of anything but rage and death.

"Either you tell me where your boss Fernando Perez is and die without any more pain or die an extremely painful death." Even though Deeks sounded emotionless, the weight the words and his eyes carried was enough to make all five cartel members fear for their lives.

They all had made bad choices in life for a quick buck. They all trusted in the cartel to take care of them and their materialistic needs till the end of their lives. It had been a way of life that they had known from their childhood. The only choices they had seen to escape the abuse at home was to become a member of a gang or a cartel to make enough money to keep their abusive fathers remain passed out due to alcohol consumption. Now, they're regretting every choice they made that landed them in their current scenario.

"Alright then..." Deeks' voice reverberated in their ears as they saw their captor pull a .22 gun. He placed it against one person's shoulder and squeezed the trigger. The victim screamed as the bullet made its way into the muscle and embedded itself in his shoulder bone. Deeks turned around and retrieved a handful of a red powder.

"You know what it is, don't you?" Deeks questioned the cartel member who was shot as the victim's eyes widened.

"You used the same on most of the people you tortured the information out of and oh, I got the same brand as well." Deeks informed the victim as he shoved the cayenne pepper powder into the wound making the victim scream out in pain.

"Now, who doesn't want to talk?" Deeks asked opening a box. The remaining four cartel member's eyes widened as they identified the various torture equipment they had used on their victims in the past. As Deeks picked up a cattle prod, one of the remaining four screamed…

**Monday 13:00; No Vacancy Motel, Somewhere outside LA:**

In the run-down motel on the other side of LA, the cartel boss Fernando Perez is pacing. He had the resources to take care of the legal mess, hit-men to take care of rival cartels, money to buy dirty cops but he is still experiencing sleepless nights over the past eight days. He hoped that the relentless Detective whose cover was blown thanks to his friendly cop would learn a lesson if his lady friend was roughed up to show him how far they would go to keep the cops away from their business but he hadn't expected this reaction from Detective Deeks.

His drug dealers working the streets have been killed brutally but not before they have revealed the distributors names and locations. His distributors have been tortured and killed and all his drug stash has been destroyed and now his most trusted enforcers are missing.

Given that, there is a warrant against his name, there is not a damn thing he could do about it. He was hiding from the police earlier but now he has a federal agency on his trail since the lady friend turned out to be a federal agent and hadn't gone down easily. Both his body guards are featuring broken bones as a clear reflection of her strength as she fought his five enforcers, three dealers, and two bodyguards.

He is now wondering if keeping her a hostage instead of leaving her out in the alley would've been a good idea. Given the reaction from the undercover Detective, he would've been a hell lot safer if he had some leverage. His seedy lawyer had warned him before they chose to beat up the woman that the Detective has nothing to lose which was why they left her in the alley to remind him that he has something to lose. But the damn lady had to fight back resulting in a harder beat down than expected from his enforcers.

Driscoll confirmed that the woman is in a hospital and Deeks had been to see her only once. Being in the business he is in, Fernando was aware of the breaking points of individuals. Some people physically breakdown and never recover from it, sometimes getting locked in a vegetative state. Some others have a psychological breakdown and lose their sanity. Some others break down early before he got to play with them giving all the information he needs due to their fear of the Social circles coming to know of their association with the cartels.

Fernando had always been warned by the mentors in his criminal life about a very rare fourth kind, the ones that breakdown emotionally. They are the ones to watch out. They could go on one of the two paths. One would lead them to become dead beat drug addicts and junkies. You don't have to worry about them but then there are the others, those who bring hell to earth to the tormentors. These are the ones that wouldn't rest till the tormentors are dead.

_For my shitty luck, the cop had to have an emotional breakdown and take the second path._ Fernando thought to himself.

Fernando and the body guards are startled by a knock on the door. All three scrambling to find their weapons, Fernando shouted, "Who is it?" No matter, how hard Fernando tried; he couldn't keep the quiver out of his voice.

"It's your lawyer, Derrick Leighton." A gravelly voice from the outside answered. Upon receiving a nod from Fernando, one of the bodyguards opened the door revealing a thin balding man wearing half rimmed spectacles.

"What took you so long?" Fernando growled.

"Do you think it is easy to find a plastic surgeon ready to change the face of a federal fugitive?" Derrick raised one eyebrow inquisitively.

"So, when do I get to change my face?" Fernando asked impatiently.

"Doctor Christian agreed to perform the surgery on Wednesday." Derrick replied.

"Wednesday? Are you insane? Haven't you seen the pictures? Don't you know that these two dimwits and I are the only ones still alive in the cartel? The very next knock could be the FBI or NCIS or LAPD or even my death, that Detective Deeks." Fernando ranted.

"I am aware of the facts, thank you. But, you should also know that there is only so much money can do, particularly when the threat of prison is hanging on the head of a Doctor." Derrick shot back.

"You should have used one of your clients." Fernando growled.

"You really have no idea about Detective Deeks. I warned you that he has nothing to lose. From what I had learned from his file, he really hates anyone being hurt to get to him. You really think he wouldn't shake down my clients for information? The only way out is using the money to get your plastic surgery done, get fake passports and fly you out of the country. We cannot use anyone that can lead back to us. Do you understand what I am talking about?" Derrick shot back equally harshly.

Once the harsh reality slapped him in the face, Fernando calmed down as a cold shiver formed down his spine. "What would happen if the woman dies?" Fernando thought out loud.

"First off, she is being guarded by NCIS. Secondly, Detective Deeks has taken out almost the entire cartel for just hurting her. Stay indoors and order room service if you guys want to stay alive." Derrick warned as he left.


	3. Chapter 3

At the ware house, seeing his colleagues suffer in exactly the same fashion they tortured their victims; one guy gave up the location. Deeks immediately shot the remaining four to death with the .22 and cleaned the weapon and the location of anything that could lead the investigators to him.

He released the last surviving one and growled in his ear harshly. "You will take me to the motel." Deeks pushed him out of the warehouse.

"I have found Fernando Perez." Eric shouted from the balcony towards Hetty's office where both Hetty and Granger are in a heated discussion about Deeks.

Hetty threw a glare at Granger and headed to the Ops.

"Details, Mr. Beale." Hetty asked.

"He is hiding in 'No Vacancy' motel in the outskirts of LA. He rented a room yesterday under the name Juan Hernandez." Eric brought up the motel on a map.

"How sure are you about this, Mr. Beale?" Hetty asked.

"Very sure, because his Lawyer had visited the motel twice in the last 12 hours. The Lawyer has also paid a visit to a plastic surgeon. The surgeon called the tip hot line to do the right thing. I have the hacked into the Lawyer's GPS information." Eric informed.

"Let LAPD know the location details and let them handle it." Granger said from his position.

Hetty glared at him and turned to Eric, "Mr. Beale, contact Mr. Callen and Mr. Hannah. Let them apprehend Fernando. That cartel has attacked a NCIS Agent and that makes it our case. Ask Mr. Getz to guard Kensi in their absence."

"Hetty, you and I both know that this is a mess caused by Deeks. Let LAPD handle the mess." Granger tried to reason with Hetty as she walked past him.

"In case you had forgotten, he is one of us." Hetty calmly pointed out and moved towards her desk.

"But, Agent Blye was attacked because of the LAPD case being worked by that so-called 'one-of-us'. That makes it LAPD mess." Granger gritted out as he followed Hetty.

Hetty simply looked at him causing Granger to blanch. That one look took him back to his time in CIA when Hetty, who was an NCIS Field Agent at the time, was tortured to get to him. It told him what he needed to hear to back Deeks. Granger shook his head. He left DC to get away from inter and intra agency politics and here he was playing the same game.

"I am sorry Hetty. I shall back whatever steps you take but please keep me informed before and not after the fact." Granger said and left the condemned building.

A knock on the door brought all three occupants of the room out of their card game. They had to pass the time and the run down motel didn't have a TV in the room. All they could do to keep them occupied was the card game or give into their imagination. None of them could keep themselves not imagining what would happen once the disgruntled Detective gets their hands on them. They would prefer getting arrested and sent to a maximum security prison to meeting the Detective that had taken out their friends.

Fernando Perez had beaten it into their minds that offense is the best defense but right now, Fernando himself is re-evaluating his philosophy that made him the boss of one of the most feared cartels in LA. All three kept silence as another knock sounded causing all three to scramble for their weapons and take cover.

"Federal Agents, open up." Callen shouted through the door.

With the fight or flight reaction kicking in, one of the bodyguards shot at the door.

"Sonnuvabitch" Sam gritted out as he and Callen plastered themselves to the walls adjacent to the door.

As the shooting subsided, Callen indicated the countdown with his fingers. Sam nodded and moved to a position in front of the door, ready to shoot. Callen inserted the master key from his position and pushed the door and all hell broke loose. Sam double tapped the body guard in view and swiftly took cover in his previous position. The other two kept raining bullets at the door without giving either Callen or Sam a chance to get a shot.

As both the NCIS Agents concentrated on staying alive, neither noticed the two men who entered the hallway. The tall, lean blonde recognized the situation. He let his Hispanic charge run away as he retrieved his weapon and stalked straight into the line of fire.

The blood splatter on his face was the first clue Sam had that one of the friendlies was hit. Alarmed that his partner was hit, he looked up and was met with the stony faced detective who pumped lead into both the attackers while his own body absorbed five bullets. It all happened within a few seconds. As the hail of bullets stopped from the confines of the room, the detective sagged and dropped with a sad smile on his face.

Sam didn't let the detective hit the ground and held him.

"Don't you give up on us, Deeks. Don't you dare." Sam yelled in his face while Callen pulled his cell out and shouting for an Ambulance as he headed inside to check on the Cartel Boss.

Callen returned to the doorway to find the fallen Detective and Sam struggling to stop the bleeding.

"Where the hell is that Ambulance?" Callen shouted into the phone as he tore the bed-sheet into strips. With the help of Callen, Sam used the strips to fashion bandages to stem the blood loss.

"Ambulance is two minutes out." Eric's panicked voice sounded from the cell phone speaker as no one in the Ops understood what went wrong.

"What happened, Mr. Callen?" Hetty's calm voice streamed through.

"Deeks happened, Hetty. Damn idiot walked right into the line of fire and took out Fernando and his body guard. He's losing blood fast." Sam's exerted voice came through the speaker at Ops. Hetty almost lost her balance as she understood what went through Deeks' mind.

"How many…" Hetty couldn't complete her question as emotion clogged her throat but both the senior agents at the other end understood the question.

"I can count 5, Hetty." Callen choked out as the Paramedics who arrived at the scene took over.

"Anyone alive on the other side." Hetty asked as she swallowed the lump in her throat.

"None, Hetty. I am not sure if any of the cartel members are alive." Sam answered as Callen handed his cell phone and followed the gurney out fully intent on getting into the Ambulance.

"Keep an eye out, Mr. Hannah. I shall meet you at the hospital." Hetty disconnected the line with that. She was trying hard to control her emotions as they assaulted her. Taking a deep breath, she turned to face the Technical and Intelligence Analysts.

"Find a way to clear Mr. Deeks name from this mess. I know you both want to be there with him but we need to clear his name. Call Granger and ask him to meet me at the hospital. We need everything we can get to get Mr. Deeks to safety." Hetty ordered and left Ops.


	4. Chapter 4

As Hetty reached the hospital, she noticed Granger pulling up as well.

"We have to deal with Bates now." Hetty said as Granger fell into step beside her. Granger nodded grimly. He was so not looking forward for this meeting.

As they entered the ER reception, they noticed Bates, already in a heated argument with both Callen and Sam.

"This was not an NCIS case. Why the hell have you tried to apprehend Fernando without any intimation to LAPD?" The furious tone of Bates would have had lesser individuals cower but not seasoned Federal Agents.

"Mr. Callen, Mr. Hannah. How is Detective Deeks?" Hetty questioned completely ignoring Bates.

"He is still in surgery, Hetty. He coded twice in the ambulance." Callen answered with his voice extremely somber, a stark contrast to the lively tone he had just over a week ago.

Hetty nodded.

"Ms. Lange. I want to formally lodge a complaint against both these agents." Bates began talking to Hetty without even exchanging pleasantries.

Hetty glanced at Owen Granger and he understood that she was not in any mood to play any politics with Bates. Her primary concern is her charges now.

"If you need to file any formal complaints, you would need to do so with my superior, Assistant Director Owen Granger." Hetty introduced Granger to Bates and turned to talk to the senior agents.

"Mr. Callen." Hetty's expression told both Sam and Callen not speak anything that could implicate Deeks in any manner. She quietly led them both to the far corner of the waiting room.

"Mr. Hannah. What happened?" Hetty's quiet voice told them what she wants to know.

"Deeks saved our lives Hetty. He came out of nowhere and took out both Fernando and his bodyguard. And right now, he is in surgery because of that." Sam shuddered as he recalled the blood splattering on his face.

"I don't think he wanted to come out of it alive, Hetty." Callen said in voice octaves below his usual self.

"I know, Mr. Callen, I know which is why I shall make sure he signs the damn application I gave him two years ago. LAPD had been using him for undercover operations while he had been delivering on his responsibilities with us as the Liaison officer. I will not allow it anymore." Hetty ground out.

"Application? Hetty, you already offered him a job and he hasn't taken it yet?" Sam asked in a voice louder than he intended as the anger rose in him that Deeks hadn't become a NCIS Agent yet.

"You must all have understood by now. Deeks is a very complex man. He makes a very fascinating study for Psychologists like me." Nate commented as he entered the waiting room.

"Who is with Kensi?" Callen asked glaring at Nate.

"Relax. Granger ordered me out of the room. He is currently taking Bates' case very seriously." Nate said with a wink towards Hetty. Hetty knows Granger's version of taking someone's case very seriously and awarded Nate with a small smile.

"Mr. Getz, you were commenting about Mr. Deeks in your capacity as Operational Psychologist." Hetty steered them back into the subject.

"Ah Yes! I remember the first time I met him when he joined us as Liaison officer. He reminded me of Anthony DiNozzo, an amazing person. You can understand them only if you can look past the carefully constructed persona they project. Unfortunately, we don't take the time to understand them properly." Nate continued his assessment with a pointed glare at Sam, who had seen the Detective only superficially for a long time.

Even though Deeks joined them when everyone was hurting from the fact that their Rookie Agent, Dominic Vail was kidnapped but that didn't give Sam any right to take out his frustration on Deeks. Even though Sam warmed up to Deeks, early on, he had given Deeks a very hard time. As Sam remembered the early days of Deeks tenure in NCIS OSP LA team, he hung his head in shame.

_No, Deeks didn't deserve the treatment I gave him. _Sam thought.

"Agents like Mr. DiNozzo and Mr. Deeks are very rare finds Mr. Getz. They can fool anyone anywhere. I still cannot forget the first time I saw Mr. Deeks. I actually thought he was a homeless person till he took down the drug dealer." Hetty sighed as she remembered the first time she saw the brilliant Detective while he was undercover.

"Why do they act like…like…?" Sam was searching for the right words. Nate continued, "Class clowns, idiots, degenerates who only think about bedding the next woman they come across?"

As Sam nodded, Nate continued his assessment of Deeks, "Both Deeks and DiNozzo were abused as kids and they have learnt what they had seen their mothers do. The abused spouse usually puts up a façade for the world to see to escape embarrassment. As kids, the only thing that mattered was to escape the abuse and the embarrassment that is associated with it. By being the most annoying person in the room, they avoid any meaningful talk with others. That way, people wouldn't know what is actually going through their minds. That way, no one would come close enough to hurt them." Nate explained.

"After shooting his father in self-defense, Mr. Deeks was taken in by CPS. A CPS official Mr. Samuel Harding rekindled the hope Mr. Deeks had in humanity." Hetty gave an insight into Deeks' behavior.

"He appears not to care about anyone but he is completely the opposite of that. All he cares about is the well-being of the people around him. _That_ makes him reckless about himself. He will always take very high risks if it means others are not hurt." Nate continued his assessment with a shake of his head.

"For a very long time, he never had anyone to truly care about. When he started to care about you guys, he was shot to get Ms. Blye. We almost lost our Liaison Officer, not to bullets but to guilt. I had taken me a few hours to convince him stay on board." Hetty sighed.

"Now, we have a bigger fight coming Hetty. We have to fight to reignite his hope, will to live, and stay with us. I am not so sure the LAPD will let him go easily." Callen commented.

"We need Kensi back on her feet. She is the only one who can get through to him." Sam replied to the question that wasn't even asked.

"Let me go and save Bates from Granger and more importantly from Kensi when she comes to." Hetty commented as she walked towards Kensi's room.


	5. Chapter 5

"I am not saying that I don't agree with what you are saying, Granger. But, we cannot just let him get away with killing all those people." Bates' floating voice reached Hetty's ears as she approached the corridor leading to Kensi's room. As she turned the corner, she noticed Granger and Bates arguing with each other.

"I presume you are talking about Detective Deeks." Hetty said as she reached them.

"Ms. Lange." Bates nodded in greeting. His mood more agitated compared to the last time both have faced each other.

"Do you have any evidence or a witness against Mr. Deeks?" Hetty questioned.

"No, but we have the motive lying right here on the bed." Bates countered with a flick of his head towards Kensi's room.

"And that makes this a NCIS case and we are still investigating." Granger shot back.

"So, you want me to ignore the massacre he had carried on?" Bates asked angrily.

"What makes you think he did it?" Hetty asked and continued, "We have an open case about the assault on our Agent Kensi Blye. We have identified the perpetrators but they have all been found dead except one person. Our case is still open and we shall continue the investigation."

"But, your agents tried to apprehend one of my suspects."

"Fernando Perez was a person of interest in our case. We went to question him and not to initiate a fire fight." Callen commented as he arrived at the meeting place.

"We shot back when we were attacked." Sam added.

"How did Deeks come there?" Bates ground out getting exasperated at the length the NCIS OSP LA is going to protect a Detective under his command.

"As NCIS LAPD Liaison, it is his responsibility to be present and he was there. Why is his presence an issue?" Hetty asked.

"Ms. Lange, I am not going to have some idiot on my force that lost his mind and became vigilante just because his partner was beaten up." Bates raised his voice.

Granger and Hetty looked at each other both exasperated with the self-righteous rant from Bates.

"Mr. Bates, if you have to blame anyone for this mess, it is you and your department who had caused it. You couldn't identify a mole right under your nose that had been helping the cartel. You couldn't take down the cartel even when all required evidence was gathered. Mr. Deeks is the best undercover operative, even better detective and one of the few good men I have had the opportunity to work with. I will be more than happy if you would simply let him go from LAPD. He had already been offered an NCIS position and I will take him in." Hetty shot back with conviction.

"So, you would allow a murderous vigilante into your agency." Bates asked Granger.

"All I've heard are allegations against one my best field operatives. Prove them and we'll talk." Granger answered with his head held high.

"Now, if you would kindly leave, we have a friend to visit." Hetty dismissed Bates and entered Kensi's room only to find Kensi's eye open and a surprised look on her face.

"Ms. Blye, how are you feeling?" Hetty asked.

"What did Deeks do?" Kensi asked in a scratchy and hoarse voice. Hetty fell silent contemplating how to tell Kensi that Deeks got shot as he avenged her beatings.

"Nothing for you to worry about. Get some rest Kensi." Sam told her as he and Callen entered the room.

Kensi glared at the partners and turned her gaze back to Hetty and asked, "Where is he?"

Everyone was silent and contemplating what to tell her. While they know that she is strong, her current condition was affecting their thoughts as a silent conversation with the eyes ensued between the three people.

"Is he alive?" Kensi asked as her voice cracked. Neither Sam not Callen had the heart to lie to her or to tell her the truth and looked at Hetty helplessly.

"Ms. Blye, there is no easy way of telling this. Mr. Deeks had taken on the entire cartel for hurting you. He had been shot in the process and is in surgery as we speak." Hetty's voice cracked as well.

The increased beeping was the first indication that Kensi had taken the news hard and the alarm going off as Kensi ripped the leads off her was the indication that Kensi needs Deeks more than she let on.

"Ms. Blye." Hetty's voice has a stern tone to it with a lilt of concern as she placed her hand on the angry agent's shoulder.

"Hetty, I need to see him. I need to…" Kensi trailed off as she saw understanding in Hetty's eyes. As she stared at Hetty's eyes, her anger grew and she turned towards the senior agent.

"Why did he get shot? Who the hell was watching his back?" Kensi asked, anger coloring each word she spoke. Both the agents didn't have an answer as they looked at each other and then looked at Kensi. Nate, who went to see off Bates, entered the room with Granger.

"Kensi! If there is anyone to blame, it would be me." Nate began ignoring the glare he received from Hetty.


	6. Chapter 6

"What do you mean?" Kensi's voice fell as she failed to understand how her friend, a NCIS spy who for all she knows was not in the country when she was attacked was responsible for the current situation.

"After you were attacked, Hetty called me and I was here when Deeks saw you, unconscious, with fluids, antibiotics, and pain killers being pumped into your body. He broke down. He cares about you more than you think…for that matter more than anyone here could think or could care for you. As the operations psychologist for the team, I had ordered him to leave the premises. He had just returned from a failed undercover mission for LAPD and if the attack on you was the work of the cartel he worked hard to bring down, I was afraid he may break down again. I had Callen drop him off at his apartment. And then Deeks went off the grid. He has taken out the dealers, distributors, enforcers, and now the boss of the cartel and got shot in the process. If I had him here where we could keep an eye on him and close to you …" Nate trailed off as Kensi's face took on an expression of sad understanding as she lowered her eyes.

"Kensi." Sam's soft voice had her lift her eyes towards him.

"I know that this may be the worst time to tell you but you need to know that…" Sam looked at Hetty, and then at Callen followed by Granger, finally Nate and continued as he returned his gaze to Kensi, "Deeks didn't think he would come out of this alive and he had accepted that and still saved our lives. You are the only person who can get through to him. He walked directly into the line of fire and looked like he had given up."

The last sentence brought tears to everyone's eyes. Kensi had never seen any of them shed tears, not even when Dom was killed. They channeled all the sadness into anger against the terrorists who killed Dom and had taken out everyone but this was different. The shaggy, talkative, laid back surfer had made an ever-lasting impression on everyone.

"Where are Eric and Nell?" Kensi asked in an attempt to alleviate the tension in the room.

"LAPD is looking to charge Deeks with all the killings that had occurred after you were attacked. NCIS and LAPD both knew who was doing it but neither could get a speck of evidence or a witness to anything. Bates will have an IA investigation. Mr. Beale and Ms. Jones are working to get Mr. Deeks out of this mess.

"Wait, you people tell me Deeks gave up but now you are contradicting yourselves. If he had given up, why would there be no evidence of anything." Kensi asked.

"Because, Agent Blye, he was not prepared to get caught before he has taken out the head of the cartel who ordered the attack on you." Granger's gravelly voice hit her hard. Even when he was emotionally broken, Deeks was still looking out for her, ensuring that her attackers cannot come back to hurt her again.

"Henrietta, Bates is convening an IA hearing in two weeks. You know what to do. If you need anything from me, you know where to find me." Granger bid his good bye.

Hetty turned to face Kensi as she carefully pulled out a manila folder.

"Ms. Blye, I gave this to Mr. Deeks before I left for Romania. He felt he wasn't prepared for the job yet since he was shot to get to you. He was prepared to be sent back to LAPD with a moment's notice due to the lack of skills. I don't care what you do but I need you four to concentrate on getting Mr. Deeks out of the current situation, both emotional and physical and get him to sign the application while Granger, Mr. Beale, Ms. Jones and I would untangle the legal mess around him. Let him know that even though we may not be present physically with him, we will be with him every step of the way." Hetty handed the manila folder to Kensi and left the room.

"She has to be every step of the way since she is listed as his next of kin and medical proxy." Nate commented as he moved closer to the bed with his tablet.

"But with Hetty gone, who would be given the updates about Deeks?" Kensi asked.

"It must be a good thing that she has me listed as the personal physician for all of you." Nate commented as he took the chair next to the bed.

Kensi forced Sam and Callen to give her all the details of the case. She needed to know everything if she has to get through to Deeks. She never understood who Deeks is in her life. Nate subtly glanced at Sam and Callen and they left the room, mentioning that they had to complete the paper work on the case. Kensi knew that they were only giving her privacy to talk it out with Nate.

"Kensi" Nate gently called her. As he didn't receive any response, he tapped her forearm gently and called again. Kensi slowly turned to look at him.

"Nate" Kensi's voice was softer than he had ever heard her use.

"How are you feeling?" Nate asked.

"With all these good drugs, I am feeling good." Kensi answered.

"Kensi" Nate warned, "I am not trying to take advantage of your drugged up stage to know about you but I need to know how you are feeling."

"I am good Nate. I am not the one in the surgery now." Kensi shot back.

"Kensi, if you are going to help Deeks, you need to talk about what you are feeling." Nate held his hands up in a defensive gesture as he saw the irritation on Kensi's face and continued, "If not to me, at least to someone else. If you don't want to do it for yourself, at least do it for Deeks."

"That was low, Nate." Kensi said in a hurt colored voice. Kensi has never had any confidants. Nate filled that role but as an operational psychologist, there was only to a certain extent she could let him in. Then Deeks came along and changed everything in her life. The once uptight undercover agent has started enjoying life. Deeks has this uncanny ability to make her talk about her feelings.

"Hey baby." Julia entered the room.

"Mom" Kensi was surprised to see her in the hospital.

"I shall wait outside. Kensi, remember what I said." Nate spoke before Kensi got over her shock and left the room.

"How did you know?" Kensi asked quietly.

"Marty called me. He was worried that you would be alone in the hospital since he was going undercover. I came by to visit you every day. Your friends didn't allow me to stay long and whenever I visited you were sleeping." Julia said as she came closer to her daughter.

"When did he call you?" Kensi asked.

"Just the day after you were brought in. I am surprised that he was sent undercover while you are in the hospital. I thought you're his partner and I know enough about him to say he wouldn't have gone with you in hospital." Julia commented.

Kensi closed her eyes and a stray tear made its way down her cheek. _Dammit Deeks! You were looking out for me even when you went after the damn cartel._

"He wasn't undercover, was he?" Julia asked in a soft voice as she took in her daughter's distraught state. She couldn't believe Marty left Kensi when she needed him.

Kensi slowly opened her eyes and looked at her mom. She wasn't sure how her mother would take the news. She knows that her mother likes Deeks and is in constant touch with him. She knows that most of what Julia knows about adult Kensi is the knowledge she gained from her chats with the shaggy detective.

"Deeks went off the grid to take out the people who did this to me, Mom. He was shot and is in surgery now." Kensi blurted out.

"Oh! Baby, I am so sorry" Julia said as she cradled her daughter's head into her chest as she sat on the bed. The unseen barrier broke in Kensi as she cried for all her worth. Julia kept rubbing soft circles on Kensi's back not knowing what to do. She wished she had gone back to Donald Blye all those years ago. She would've known what to do when her daughter is in her current condition. The only one who knows what to do is Deeks and he is in surgery.

After a few minutes, Kensi recovered but stayed in the same position, unwilling to leave the safety of her mother's hug.

"What happened?" Julia asked in a soothing tone. As she felt Kensi stiffen, Julia continued, "I know you cannot give me all the details but give me what I need to know to help you?"

"From what I heard, Deeks had given up. He thinks that the attack on me is somehow his fault and had given up." Kensi sobbed again.

"What should I do now, Mom?" Kensi asked as she recovered. Her once confident voice was filled with regret and uncertainty.

"What does Marty mean to you?" Julia asked the question Kensi never asked herself. Kensi pulled back a little and looked into her Mom's eyes with incredulity.

"Don't even think of lying to me. I've been here everyday and every time you woke up, you kept searching for him. The Doctor's had to sedate you to avoid any strain on your body." Julia mildly chastised her daughter.

_What does Marty mean to me? _Kensi asked herself. _Partner, confidant, best friend, philosopher, the rock for my life, savior_ too many words came to Kensi's mind to describe her partner not to forget their 'thing'. All the words put together meant only one thing; he is her world and her life. He is the one person she is sure she cannot live without.

"He is my everything." Kensi answered honestly, more to herself than her mother.

"Then show him that." Julia suggested. When uncertainty marred Kensi's features again, Julia sighed.

"I loved your father from the bottom of my heart but I left him because I wasn't sure if I could live with myself knowing what he did for a living and tried to move on. But, it was the worst mistake of my life. I lost my entire family to my stupidity. I wanted to come back but didn't because of the same uncertainty you're feeling now. It had taken me fifteen years to gain half of my family back. There is no way I am going to let you make the same mistake." Julia confided the most painful part of her life to her daughter.

"You are all he needs now to stay grounded and not give up. I am not going to tell you it's going to be easy. You need to stay strong. The others can only play a supporting role but you need to be his anchor. You told me he never gave up on you when you went after that bastard for killing your father and his team. Don't you think it is time for you to return the favor?" Julia asked in a soothing tone.

Kensi's face took on an expression of fierce determination that reminded Julia of her ex-husband. There was no way in hell Kensi is gonna lose this war. She trusts the others to take care of the legal part of the mess. She may not be physically in a position to take care of Deeks, but she is damn well going to make sure she is there every step of the way psychologically. As her first step, she needs to understand Deeks more than she already does.

"Mom, I…" Kensi hesitated.

"You want to know my assessment of Marty?" Julia prompted. As Kensi tried to understand how her mother knew that, Julia continued. "I didn't leave Donald without a fight. I tried to find out everything I could about him but money and my Dad's connections only gave me so much. Most of what your Dad did was classified and I couldn't get access to the files which lead to the fight that prompted me to leave. I couldn't digest the fact that your father kept secrets from me. I was being stubborn and stupid. Even though I understood that the mission details are classified for Donald's and as his family our protection, I couldn't accept it."

Kensi understood what her mother was saying. She has time before anyone is allowed to see Deeks. She has to use this time to understand Deeks as much as she can. She was pulled out of her thoughts by her Mother's voice.

"Kensi, you may not agree with me but Marty is a funnier version of your Father, the version I fell in love with. I remember Donald being just like him except for the fact that the various missions he was sent on hardened him. He sometimes used to joke that he lost his funny bone in a battle. I know your mind has formed a strong image of your father. Just add a lot of humor to that image and you will see Marty." Julia gave her assessment of Deeks.

"Thank you, Mom." Kensi thanked from her heart for the support she was receiving from her Mother.

"Anytime, baby, anytime." Julia replied.

"Did Dad also give you as many nick names as Deeks gives me?" Kensi asked with a small smile.

"Oh! He can give Deeks a run for his money in terms of giving nick names. But as time progressed, he stopped and called me Julia. I guess he truly did lose his funny bone in a battle." Julia replied with a sad smile as she reminisced the better times she had with Donald. She has not had a chance to properly mourn her ex-husband, her only true love.


	7. Chapter 7

**At the Ops center:**

"You tried to call me at the hospital, Mr. Beale?" Hetty entered the Ops room as silently as ever.

"I tried to call you, Hetty." Nell butted into the conversation.

"And," Hetty prompted.

"We have just found traffic cam footage of a badly injured Hispanic man near the 'No Vacancy' motel. Facial recognition software identified him as Felipe Perez, a distant cousin of Fernando Perez. He had taken part in the beatings on Kensi." Nell informed.

"He must've led Mr. Deeks to the motel. Mr. Deeks must've let him go when he saw Mr. Hannah and Mr. Callen pinned by Fernando Perez and his body guards." Hetty thought out loud.

"Ms. Jones, get Mr. Callen online." Hetty ordered.

"_Callen" _Callen's voice rang through the speaker phone.

"Mr. Callen. Ms. Jones is sending you details about a Felipe Perez. Find him."

"Any connection to Fernando Perez?" Sam asked down the line.

"A distant cousin and an enforcer in the cartel. He is one of the people who had beaten down on Kensi." Eric answered the question

"It appears that Felipe Perez led Deeks to the motel. I am guessing that Deeks let him go to assist you. Find him before LAPD does or they may get a witness they need to press charges on Deeks." Nell explained the urgency of the situation.

"Last known location?" Callen asked.

"He was last seen on a traffic cam limping away from the motel. I am running a combination of Kaleidoscope and Facial Recognition software to find him. I will call you when I find something." Eric's voice came through the speaker at the other end.

"I have gained access to Deeks's reports from the undercover operation. He mentioned a few clinics where the cartel members were sent for treatments. I am texting the addresses to you." Nell continued the conversation. Both Eric and Nell had barely taken a break and have been working ever since Hetty asked them to find anything that can clear Deeks of the current predicament with LAPD.

"I am not ready to lose Mr. Deeks to a witch hunt. I know what he did was against the law but definitely something I would do when my team is attacked. I don't care how you get Mr. Perez. Just capture him before LAPD gets wind of this." Hetty's firm voice ordered the senior agents.

"We will, Hetty." Callen hung up and sighed.

"I want to know every detail about the undercover mission Deeks was on. I want you dig up everything." Granger was fuming with anger as he entered the Ops.

"What happened, Owen?" Hetty asked in a composed voice while Nell and Eric began hacking into LAPD network to find the required files.

"I just got off the phone with Chief of Detectives. That bloody undercover mission is not an old one as we thought. It was at the same time as the Janvier mess that we went through and it continued for the next few weeks. Deeks was practically working 24*7. He was our Liaison here during the day and undercover for LAPD during the night." Hearing Granger spew out the facts made Hetty lose her composure.

"Who made him do it?" Hetty growled.

"No details of the case are available on the LAPD network, Hetty." Nell reported.

"I found something." Eric almost shouted.

"What is it?" Hetty, Granger, and Nell crowded around him.

"I have hacked into Bates' laptop. The operation was completely off the books. The only people involved were Bates, Detective Driscoll, and Deeks. Deeks didn't even know that Driscoll is involved in the operation because; his reports indicate that he was sure Driscoll was the mole in the operation. Driscoll was acting as the handler via Bates. I am very sure Bates never read the reports because if he did and still he retained Driscoll on the op, it means only one thing…" Eric trailed off looking at Nell.

"Bates was either in on the take and he is rushing things to save his own career." Nell finished.

"Not at the cost of one of our own. Ask Callen and Sam to meet me in Kensi's room. Send the details of Felipe Perez to Amanda's team and tell her to drop everything and take him in either dead or alive." Hetty growled as she turned angrily and left the Ops quickly followed by an equally pissed Granger.

"I wouldn't want to be Bates right now." Eric commented as she followed her orders.

"Oh My God! She used the first names." Nell whispered as she dialed Sam's number.

"Yes Eric." Sam's irritated voice came through as he had been to the 7th clinic with no success.

"Bates is trying to save his own ass at the cost of Deeks. Driscoll was involved in Deeks' undercover op from the beginning and they were the only three involved. Hetty and Granger need you both at Kensi's room as soon as you can. Felipe Perez details have been handed over to Amanda Johnston's team who will bring him in."

"How angry is Hetty?" Callen's voice came through.

"She used first names." Came Nell's answer causing both Callen and Sam to look at each other.

"Hate to be Bates, right now." Both the senior agents commented.

"Now, get to Kensi's room or you'll have her anger directed at you." Nell disconnected the call.

Both Sam and Callen knew that Nell is being trained to take over from Hetty whenever she is ready to hang up her boots but the uncanny similarities between the both always troubled them. Callen drove them towards the hospital while Sam called Amanda and brought her up to speed about the operation.


	8. Chapter 8

By the time they arrived at the hospital, Hetty was getting a report from the surgeon who worked on Deeks. They caught the tail end of the conversation.

"It was touch and go for a while Hetty. But Detective Deeks is a fighter and he will recover. But from what you said, you are right. He needs to be in the same room as Ms. Blye for the next few days. He seeing that she is still alive is the best medicine, given the current circumstances." Dr. Patrick Hauser agreed for Kensi and Deeks to be roommates.

"Thank you Dr. Hauser." Hetty subtly dismissed him and turned to face the Agents. Once she learnt that Felipe Perez is alive, she has boosted the protection details for both Kensi and Deeks. The hospital is currently teeming with security personnel.

"Looks like, you've pulled all stops on this one, Hetty." Callen commented.

"Nobody messes with my team." Hetty's voice had a hard edge to it which made both Callen and Sam send silent thanks upwards for neither of them being LAPD.

Granger walked in holding a manila folder. "This is all the information we need to make the deal. If Bates doesn't agree, I will add these documents and take them to the IA hearing." Granger pulled another manila folder from his bag.

"Um…do we want to know what is in there?" Callen asked out of curiosity.

"Whatever we need to make sure we don't lose Deeks." Granger answered cryptically.

Granger and Hetty form one strong team which has abundance of favors owed to them, access to see the dead aliens in Area 51, history with CIA, NSA and a host other three alphabet Agencies, and political pull in DC, within NCIS, and CIA. When they decide to save someone, there is no stopping.

Hetty, Granger, Callen, and Sam went to see their injured friend. Seeing the usually active, goofy, and talkative detective lying on a bed, connected to lifesaving machinery was enough to make their blood boil. But this is not the time for them to act on their emotions but to play shrewd mind games. Given that Sam and Callen deal with their enemies with a gun, they let Hetty and Granger take control of the operation and concentrated on keeping their friend safe.

Deeks last stay at the same hospital after being shot had got him a lot of fans, particularly in the form of nurses. They had been awed by his strength when he ran five flights down to save his partner, when he was still injured. Now, after coming to know that he had taken a few more bullets in saving two federal agents, the fan population increased. The nurses were finding reason to visit the ICU just to get a glimpse of the Detective, a fact that brought smiles to all the NCIS folks.

_Damn surfer dude looks! _Callen cursed internally. Add to that a selfless job like a Detective and scars from saving people; Callen thinks that he wouldn't be surprised if all the single nurses build a shrine for Deeks in the hospital.

"Look at him. He is getting more action than you even when he is injured." Sam joked trying to alleviate the tension in the group. Normally uptight Granger gave a small smile at the attempt. Till the moment Hetty's glare had taken him back to the past, Granger hadn't realized how important Deeks is to this small group. But once he had an idea, he had decided to use everything in his arsenal to protect the Detective.

Taking a deep breath, he spoke, "Agent Callen, Agent Hannah, I think Mr. Deeks has enough protection. Let's head to Agent Blye's room. There is something extremely important that you need to know." Callen looked at each other and then at Hetty who gave nothing away but silently made her way towards Kensi's room. Sam called Nate to confirm he is still with Kensi and the senior partners followed Hetty and Granger.

"Agent Blye, Ms. Feldman" Hetty greeted both the women in the room as she was followed by Callen, Sam, and Granger.

"Ms. Feldman, I need to discuss about the case with my team. I apologize for asking but could you wait outside for the next few minutes, please." Granger asked as politely as he could.

"Sure, Mr. Granger." Julia answered uncertainly and left the room after squeezing Kensi's shoulder as Kensi glared at Granger.

"What was that about?" Kensi asked angrily as soon as she was confident that her mother was out of ear shot.

"Ms. Blye, this meeting isn't about you. It's about your partner. Please bear with us." Hetty's soothing voice worked as Kensi took a few deep breaths to calm down.

"I am sorry, Assistant Director." Kensi apologized.

"Don't worry about it Agent Blye. I can understand the state of your mind." Granger brushed off her concern.

"I am about to reveal important details about Deeks's undercover operation. Please pay attention." Granger looked at everyone and opened the file.


	9. Chapter 9

"From the file, I understood that Bates had Deeks undercover for him. Since Bates suspected the presence of a mole within LAPD, Deeks only contact was Bates and was sworn to secrecy. Hence, Deeks was working an undercover mission for Bates and as our liaison at the same time. Bates had Detective Driscoll file the reports and stack the evidence. I wouldn't be surprised if most of the documents were forwarded directly to Driscoll without even reading them. Driscoll knew who was undercover but Deeks was not aware of Driscoll's involvement in the operation. Driscoll ensured that only circumstantial evidence was filed and if there are any witnesses, the information was provided to the cartel to ensure silence. As soon as Deeks discovered and reported Driscoll to be the mole in LAPD, he mentioned it in the reports with damning evidence. It's a good thing that Deeks sent everything to his NCIS email as well. Once the proofs reached Driscoll, he approached Bates with the circumstantial evidence and had him drop the investigation and end Deeks's cover. Deeks, not being satisfied with the result, kept digging into the cartel and Driscoll. Driscoll, in an attempt to salvage his career, wanted to buy Deeks's silence and had the cartel leader order an attack on Agent Blye. You all know the rest. Now, Bates is trying to salvage his career at the cost of Deeks's." Granger ended his monologue.

"So what are we going to do now?" Sam asked.

"I was thinking, make Deeks official." Kensi pulled the folder out. "We are all expert forgers, we can sign on Deeks behalf and have Bates approve a back dated resignation. That way, the entire work Deeks did would be on NCIS time and IA will not have a leg to stand on."

"Whilst I like the plan, Ms. Blye, I am not sure Mr. Deeks would like someone else to make that decision." Hetty answered.

"We have him here, alive. It's going to take a very long time for us to get him back to normal. In the current state of mind, if he treats our actions as a betrayal or if he thinks that we don't trust him to make a decision for himself; we will be doing more damage than what is already done." Nate intervened. As much as he wants to see Deeks as an NCIS Special Agent, he was not going to do that at such a huge price.

"I agree with Mr. Getz. We are going to talk to Mr. Bates, at his office. Mr. Callen, Mr. Hannah, and Mr. Getz, I know you are all very tired but I do not trust anyone else with the security detail for Mr. Deeks and Ms. Blye. Keep them safe and Ms. Blye, I don't want to hear it. I believe I gave you a very important task." Hetty gave her orders with a pointed look towards Kensi daring her to argue. Kensi lowered her eyes to look at the folder in her hands.

"I know and I am not going to fail." Kensi answered.

"That's the spirit. As soon as Mr. Deeks can be moved out of ICU, he will be your roommate." Hetty informed as she turned on her heel. Nate had already explained the plan of action to get Deeks back to normal. Even though Kensi hated the plan and had pointed out that his suggestion back-fired the previous time, she agreed to stay at the hospital as long as Deeks needs her there.

"Did you guys see him?" Kensi asked. There was an involuntary shiver in her voice.

"We did." Callen answered evenly.

"And" Kensi prompted.

"He is in good hands Kens." Callen tried to evade the question.

"G" Kensi's voice had an edge to it as she glared at all three of them.

"Kensi" Sam called in a soft voice waited till Kensi looked at him. "We all know how much you care about him. Right now, the best thing for you to do is rest up. You are going to need it to look better when Deeks is brought here. If he notices even the slightest bit of discomfort to you, he'll never stop blaming himself. We all know that you won't leave his side once you see him. Get some sleep. One of us will always be with Deeks till he is brought in here." Sam's words calmed Kensi down as she realized the truth.

"But Nate" Kensi asked in low voice "Wouldn't he think that I had abandoned him if I don't visit?" Kensi asked.

"I agree with Kensi, guys. We have to take her up there." Nate supported Kensi.

"He is all drugged up for the surgery. I am not sure if he would even know that Kensi has visited him." Callen commented.

"I don't care; I just want to see him, please." Kensi pleaded.

"Let me check with the doctor if he can allow us to visit him." Nate stepped out. It was as much to clear his head as it was to check with the doctors if both Kensi and Deeks are up for a visit. Ever since Nate had learnt that Deeks has gone off- grid and the first body turned up, he had been regretting his decision of sending Deeks home with no one to look after him. He had been second guessing his decision of sending Deeks home ever since the first body was discovered.

Deeks had been as much as an enigma as Hetty is for him. There are probably only a handful of people on earth who have actually understood what makes him tick. Even Hetty, the best mind reader he had ever met couldn't predict what Deeks was up to until the dead bodies started piling up. Shaking his head of the thoughts, Nate called Hetty from his cell to inform her of Kensi's plan to visit Deeks.

"Hello" Hetty's normally genial voice was sharper than normal.

"Hetty, it's me, Nate." Nate wished her hesitantly.

"Yes, Mr. Getz" Hetty made it sound like a question.

"Kensi wants to visit Deeks. We all know that she may not leave his side once she sees him. I am not sure what I should be doing." Nate replied.

"As the Operational Psychologist, what do you think?" Hetty asked.

"I am not sure, Hetty. I mean the last decision I made as an Operational Psychologist landed us in this situation." Nate answered honestly.

"Mr. Getz. You need to remember that under any circumstances, every rule has an exception. Mr. Deeks is an exception to several books written on psychology. If you begin to judge your abilities based on what happened to Mr. Deeks, then everything you have already learnt has to be unlearned and you will have to write a new book. What I want to say is you must listen to your heart and do what it wants you to do." Hetty reassured Nate.

"Thank you, Hetty." Nate said and hung up and went ahead to seek Dr. Hauser's permission.

Dr. Hauser, after consulting with Kensi's Doctor, permitted Kensi to visit on two conditions. The first one was that she had to use a wheelchair which she vehemently rejected but finally gave in. The second condition was that she would visit only for a few minutes. As Kensi agreed for the second condition, Sam, Callen, and Nate exchanged glances and a knowing smile.

All three know Kensi well enough to keep the comments to themselves and that no force on Earth would be able to get her away from Deeks once she sees him. She would assign herself to protection detail if that's what it takes to stay with him. Shaking their heads, all three followed Kensi and the nurse to ICU.


	10. Chapter 10

Lieutenant Bates is seated in his office as he got a call from the receptionist mentioning that Granger and Hetty were at the precinct to talk to him. Even though he was supremely confident that his tracks are covered and his skeletons are safely put away, he couldn't help but feel a little niggling sensation of foreboding. From all the stories he's heard from CIA about Hetty and Granger from his time in Iraq, he had just messed with a Pride of Lions and if he doesn't play it carefully, there is no way in hell he will be able to see the light of the day.

"I am busy right now. Find out why they would want to meet me." Bates commanded.

"They say that they have information pertinent to an open investigation into an attack on one of their agents." The receptionist's voice came through. The little niggle in his mind has blown to a full-fledged storm as he asked his receptionist to send them through.

"Thank you for agreeing to meet us, Mr Bates." Hetty's voice was genial as ever while Granger simply nodded towards him.

"How can I help you?" Bates asked while indicating the seats in front of his table for them to be seated.

"We were wondering how much of the reports sent by Mr Deeks while he was undercover have you studied or even gave a fly by reading." Granger commented, his voice sounded friendly but there was concealed contempt that made it clear that Granger clearly knows what his plans are.

"I read every report that comes to me." Bates answered indignantly.

Granger glanced at Hetty before retrieving the file from his bag and placing it on the table. "I somehow cannot believe that." Granger's verbal punch though delivered in a soft voice hit the spot.

"What do you mean?" Bates managed to keep the shiver out of his voice.

"Because, in front of me are the reports, Mr Deeks sent you. Before you even begin to object, since we pay his salary, as agreed by the Chief of Police, it is mandatory for Mr Deeks to send me a copy every report he files, even if they were for LAPD purpose only. This file contains every report he ever sent you during his undercover mission." Hetty answered.

"And…" Bates managed to make it sound like a question.

"I am still trying to understand how photographic evidence, and fingerprints on the smoking gun and the smoking gun are just circumstantial evidence." Granger answered.

"There wasn't any photographic evidence or fingerprints or a smoking gun." Bates shot back.

"Really, because on his report sent on May, the 26th mentions that you have to collect the evidence from NCIS personnel and no one has come to collect it from us." Hetty opened the report and pointed it out.

"So, you withheld evidence? Are you aware that I can charge you with obstruction of justice?" Bates thundered.

"No, we didn't. We have called LAPD several times. Every time, we spoke about the undercover operation, we were told that there is no undercover operation involving Detective Deeks." Granger shot back with equal intensity.

"As Mr Deeks's handler during the operation, we expected the call to be transferred to you. As you are aware, every call originating from NCIS Switch Board is recorded and we have the proof that we did attempt to surrender evidence. We have maintained strict chain of command on the same." Hetty continued in her gentle voice forcing Bates back off.

"Why wasn't the department aware of the undercover operation?" Granger questioned. "I am surprised that the Chief of Detectives wasn't even aware that an undercover mission was in progress involving our Liaison Officer."

Bates took a deep breath to calm his nerves and spoke, "We had a mole in our department that was helping the Perez Cartel. Thanks to IA Detective Quinn, there have been murmurs that I could be the mole. Not knowing who the mole was or why was I being implicated, I had to keep things under wraps. He was to work uncover the mole and bring the cartel down just like we did with Clarence Fisk case."

"You had sought our help with Clarence Fisk and with witness protection for Ray and why was this any different?" Hetty asked.

"Those two cases crossed jurisdictions and this one didn't." Bates answered, feeling lesser and lesser confidence as time went by.

"May we know on what criteria was Detective Driscoll involved with the case?" Hetty asked.

"How I run our investigation is none of your business." Bates answered angrily.

"We really didn't want it to come down to this but…" Hetty handed over a subpoena for the complete case details signed by a Federal Judge.

"The subpoena has been obtained by legitimate means. Given that we had the knowledge of the case involving Deeks and the people who attacked our Agent were a target of that particular undercover operation, we need all the details and Judge Markham agreed with us." Granger completed the statement.

"He was my junior partner and was as straight laced as any other Cop I had met on the job. I trusted him to file all the required paper work and collect the evidence." Bates answered.

"Some straight laced Cop. He has amassed a balance of 3.7 million in an off shore account, 6 properties in LA and a Ranch in Texas. He managed to do all of these within the last 6 years and you made him a part of the investigation?" Granger glared at Bates.

Seeing that Granger and Hetty have iron clad evidence against him and Driscoll, Bates lost it.

"OK, so I screwed up. What the hell do you want from me?" Bates questioned angrily.

"We know that you have already made arrangements for a formal IA enquiry into Deeks. I don't care what you do and how you do it but Deeks has to come out innocent. Nothing about the events of the last 12 days will feature on any record that tarnishes him or his associates. And finally, Deeks will resign from LAPD when he recovers and you will approve it without any questions and relieve him immediately. Do you understand?" Granger growled.

"But…" Bates tried to reason.

"Mr Bates, what our Assistant Director meant is that none of it will appear on LAPD records other than the fact that the bodies were discovered and the details were provided to NCIS since they were all persons of interest in our active case. They will all feature in our reports. Is it understood?" Hetty interrupted Bates and her normally genial voice had a hard edge to it.

Bates understood that if he doesn't agree to the terms, the pair of NCIS personnel sitting in front of him will ruin his career and have enough ammunition to ruin his life if that's what it takes to prove Deeks innocent. He has always understood that Deeks is a good Cop but failed to understand why Hetty insisted on Deeks to be the Liaison Officer even though he has offered some of the decorated Detectives for that role.

"We tend to see beyond the masks people wear, Mr Bates." Hetty's voice brought him out of his thoughts.

"I will do it." Bates answered with a sigh. Both Hetty and Granger nodded and left the room.

_What a mess have I gotten myself into? If only I read the reports before sending them to Driscoll, I would've closed the case, brought down a Dirty Cop and would've retained my best undercover._ Bates thought as he stared at the closed door of his chamber.


	11. Chapter 11

**Pacific Beach Medical Hospital:**

Given that there is still a threat to Deeks's life, Hetty has arranged for Dr Hauser to verify every procedure being carried out. Dr Hauser, understanding the seriousness of the situation for Hetty herself to be involved, ensured that Deeks is getting the best treatment that is available. Even though Deeks has to be in ICU for post-surgical care, given the situation, Dr Hauser arranged for a room for his patient. Once he is out of the woods and wouldn't need to be in ICU, he would shift him to the same room as Kensi. He ensured that the nurse attending Deeks wouldn't have any other assignments. His fear of Hetty and her letter opener was greater than his fear of being questioned about his decisions and the financial implications by his superiors. Then again, some of his superiors have also heard about Hetty and he is sure that they will bat or him when they know that Hetty is listed as the next of kin for the Detective he is treating.

Nurse Debbie, who had resisted Deeks's charms during his last stay at the hospital, was tasked with attending to Deeks. Even though she resisted his charms, she couldn't help admiring his tenacity, strength, and loyalty when she witnessed him, within a few hours of coming out of the surgery, saving his partner from terrorists and ripping his stitches in the process. No matter how much she tried, she couldn't forget the shaggy haired detective. She felt a twinge in her heart when she saw his name on her list and the reason for hospitalization.

Two through and through bullet wounds to his left arm, one bullet removed from his right thigh, and a surgery to repair his collapsed right lung, caused by two bullet holes told her that his stay at the hospital is going to be a long and painful one. _He must've been in a hell of a fire fight. _Debbie thought as she wondered why she would be attending only one patient for her late shift.

"Did you hear that Detective Deeks is back?" Her colleague Jeanine who hated Debbie for being the lucky one to attend the heroic cop the last time he stayed at the hospital asked.

"Yeah, I have to attend to him tonight." Debbie answered as she scanned the various reports and details, she would need to know to attend to Detective Deeks.

"Damn! Lucky Bitch." Jeanine cursed.

"Hey, it's not like I requested for this patient. Do you know how hard it is to attend to him? He whines every time we take a syringe in there even though it goes into the IV catheter." Debbie complained.

"I think he does it for the show. I mean, the last time he was here, he had two bullets removed and now he had five bullets removed. There is no way he is actually afraid of any pain." Jeanine commented seriously.

Debbie nodded as she walked past Jeanine to relieve Nurse Teresa who kept the afternoon watch. Debbie walked in after the protection detail checked her Id. She was shocked at the ghostly pallor of her patient. If it isn't for the continuous beeping of the heart monitor, there is no way in hell she would believe that her patient is alive. The last time she had seen him just after the surgery, he was still full of life, teasing his partner, making jokes about everything. Even though she resisted his charms, she knew she would never forget his handsome face, teasing smirk, or how he ran the five flights of stairs to save his partner.

"Watch him. From what I gathered and overheard, what he did was suicidal to save two Federal Agents. The Assistant Director of the Federal Agency had come here by himself to keep him safe." Teresa muttered as Debbie stood by her.

"Has anyone visited him?" Debbie asked.

"The same ones who visited him the last time but he hasn't woken up yet. Dr Hauser has weaned him off the sedative just a few minutes ago. But he will need a lot of rest. Make sure that he doesn't pull a similar stunt as last time." Teresa warned without even taking her eyes off Deeks. Debbie went through the motions of checking the chart, the machinery and everything before nodding at Teresa to indicate that everything seems fine.

"Oh! I almost forgot to mention. I am told that other than the ones in this list no one is allowed to visit and that the ones on this list have the permission to visit him any time. Don't even think of arguing about it. Somehow that small woman scares Dr Hauser." Teresa commented as she left.

Debbie stood next to the bed and brushed the hair off his forehead and sighed. This isn't how she wanted to meet the detective again. She would be lying if she said that she wasn't attracted to the shaggy surfer. She hoped that someday she might bump into him at a coffee shop or on the beach but she never expected to meet him the hospital and being treated for bullet wounds.

Nate pushed the wheelchair along the corridor's leading to the ICU. Sam and Callen trailed behind, not wanting to overcrowd Kensi. As they reached Deeks's room, Kensi's heart rate sped up and an involuntary shiver escaped her body. All three men noticed it but held back any comments knowing that this is what Kensi needs. She needs to see her partner with her own eyes to believe he is still alive. The NCIS agents flashed their credentials and opened the door gently.

Not used to having such late night visitors, Debbie was startled as she turned to face the visitors. Except for the brunette man, she has seen all the three of them during the Detective's previous stay at the Hospital. As she took in the healing bruises and bandages on Kensi's face and arms, it was clear to her why his partner wasn't on the protection detail.

"Can I help you?" Debbie asked out of courtesy but she knew they wouldn't need her help.

"No, we were just visiting our friend here." The tall brunette man answered as he pushed the wheel chair closer to the bed.

Debbie knew she would be witnessing an extremely intimate moment amongst friends if she stayed any longer, excused herself and waited outside. She kept an eye on the happenings inside the room without any intrusion. As much as she hated doing that, she knew it was required to keep her patient safe.

Kensi stood unsteadily holding the bed railing and took a few steps on her trembling legs. Debbie watched as Kensi swiped at her eyes to clear the tears that were blurring her vision. Running her good hand through Deeks's hair, Kensi took in the image of her partner lying on the bed. There are so many things she wanted to share with him. So many experiences and memories she wanted to have with him and yet she seemed to give him only physical scars and that troubled her. As a rogue tear escaped her eyes and fell on Deeks's arm, Kensi couldn't hold it in any longer. Sam was onto her in a flash as he cradled her into his chest.

Both Callen and Nate placed their hands on her shoulders in silent support as sobs wreaked her body. They were all stunned by the open display of emotion from Kensi. She has always been one of the guys, competing with them in anything and everything. The only emotion they had seen openly displayed before Deeks joined the team was anger. After the Liaison officer was added to the team, he brought out anger, concern, jealousy, and sadness but jealousy was the only open emotion that was displayed publicly. She hated when any other woman attracted his attention. For her to openly cry told them how important the shaggy haired detective had become for her.


	12. Chapter 12

As all three NCIS agents expected, Kensi hasn't left Deeks's side since she had seen him. They couldn't pry her off. As morning rolled in, Dr Hauser, understanding the situation, convinced the Doctor treating Kensi and arranged for her to stay in the same room as Deeks and had himself assigned as her Doctor. Deeks hasn't opened his eyes yet but Dr Hauser checked various readings off the machines; consulted Debbie's reports on the chart and said there has been a marked improvement but it may take a while before Deeks wakes up.

Around noon, Nell and Eric paid a visit to their friend. Nell blanched at the sight of their friend. Though Eric did put a brave front as he comforted Nell in a hug, Nell felt his tears on her shoulder indicating how much his fellow surfer's condition has affected him. Nell placed a gentle kiss on Deeks's cheek, ran her fingers through his blonde locks and whispered, "We cannot lose you, my friend." Eric couldn't say a word. All he could do was squeeze the good shoulder and leave. Both the Analysts have worked overnight and ensured that they don't lose Deeks through any legal means.

Dr Hauser paid a visit that afternoon and examined the various test results and readings. Once he came to a conclusion, he called Hetty. "He is not in coma but is utterly exhausted Hetty. There are a few medicines that can wake him up but his body needs the rest. Having Agent Blye in the room is helping but we would need the others to take turns and stay with him. It may sound silly and cheesy but talk to him. Tell him that there are people that care about him. I can only treat the physical wounds but the psychological ones that this case left on him can only be cured by his friends and family." Dr Hauser explained his patient's condition to the Operations Manager.

Hetty called Granger and Vance in that order and explained the situation. Even though Vance objected to what she asked, Granger convinced Vance that if he wants the best OSP Team to be back on their feet, this is exactly what they need. Hetty ensured that Nate will not be called back into the field till she is sure that Deeks and the team don't need any more help from the Operational Psychologist. Sam and Callen are in charge of keeping Kensi and Deeks safe. Nate was ordered to do a psyche eval for the entire team.

Knowing that Kensi wouldn't want to leave Deeks, Nate determined it to be safer to evaluate her in Deeks's hospital room.

"Kensi" Nate called.

"Yes Nate." Kensi answered not taking her eyes off Deeks.

"How are you feeling now?" Nate asked.

"This is not a good time for this, Nate." Kensi replied with a hard edge to her voice while her eyes are still trained on her partner.

"Kensi, look at me." Nate asked and as Kensi obliged, he continued, "I have been ordered to do a clinical evaluation for the entire team. The Director has agreed for all three of you to stay off rotation but hasn't agreed for any extra protection detail. The NCIS agents currently guarding Deeks will be back on rotation effective tomorrow evening. So, we need to do this now."

"I don't know what I am feeling now, Nate." Kensi glanced at her partner before looking back at Nate and continuing, "I mean my partner went off grid to take out an entire cartel for attacking me. I was attacked because one of his colleagues in LAPD betrayed him. I was not there to watch his back for the last few days and right now, my best friend is in hospital bed recovering from five bullet wounds. We have no idea what his psychological condition is. We have no idea if he will stay with us. Taking out the cartel meant he has taken the law into his own hand and knowing him, the guilt of doing that will completely unsettle him. I don't know if there is anything in this world we can do to return him to being my goofball partner." Kensi swiped as her eyes were filled with tears.

Nate waited for Kensi to recover and continue. She had bottled up too many emotions over the years but after finding the truth about her father, her guard was lower than before. She still is the same stubborn, seemingly emotionless Federal Agent but in the presence of her partner and best friend Marty, she appears to be someone else. Someone who enjoys life, teases her friends, laughs at silly jokes. Nate was surprised when he met her after the whole Janvier mess the team had gone through. Marty has changed her for better. If Marty doesn't make it, Kensi will slip back into the strong shell she has constructed around herself. Nate shook his head from his thoughts and prepared himself to ask the tough questions as Kensi returned to watching her partner.

"Would you kill Felipe Perez in cold blood if you find him?" Knowing that trying to beat around the bush wouldn't work with his team, Nate asked the direct questions.

"Marty deserves better." Kensi's answer was simple and to the point.

"Even though Marty practically killed them all in cold blood." Nate shot back harshly.

"Do you remember the Major Lehtinen?" Kensi asked.

Nate closed his eyes as he remembered the Finland born American Marine Major Kimmo Lehtinen who took out an entire terrorist camp for killing his team, even though he was ordered to return to the base. His team was sent to rescue a group of civilian contractors who were being held hostage by the terrorist camp. During the dark of the night, the Major and his team of six marines have rescued the civil contractors. The extraction vehicle left with the civil contractors while the Marines and the Major stayed back for their ride. The extraction team was spotted and everyone was killed except Major Lehtinen who was injured and was thrown away by the blast.

What followed the next three days was a massacre carried out by Major Lehtinen. He had taken out the entire terrorist cell and Nate; the consultant psychologist deemed them righteous kills and the Navy has commended him based on Nate's psyche evaluation. Only Major Lehtinen rejected the evaluation calling himself a cold blooded murderer, rejected the commendation and went AWOL. He is yet to be found.

"That was different, Kens. Major Lehtinen was behind enemy lines." Nate tried to reason.

"And Marty wasn't? He was undercover to shut them down and the cartel targeted me, because I am his friend. I don't see any difference." Kensi shot back trying to make Nate see her point of view.

"I agree with Ms Blye." Hetty's voice made them both turn towards the entrance.

"I completely agree with you Ms Blye which is why we have taken every precaution to ensure that all this would not form a black mark our Liaison Officer's career. Also, we have convinced Director Vance and had him sign off on Mr Deeks recruitment. All he has to do is turn in his resignation from LAPD and sign the file you have with you." Hetty continued.

"Have we found Felipe Perez?" Kensi asked hopefully. That is the only chink in the armour the entire team has constructed around their friend. There is no way they would allow a small detail like an injured enforcer of a shutdown cartel to affect the outcome of the current situation.

"Ms Johnston and her team are very capable of capturing Mr Perez. I need you people to take care of Mr Deeks at the moment." Hetty commented as she took a seat next to Deeks. She ran her hand through Deeks's hair and smiled as he leaned into her touch.

"It had been a long time since he had someone caring for him. Make sure he knows we all care for him. We can all expect a similar reaction from Marty as Major Lehtinen himself had, calling himself a cold-blooded murderer. It won't be easy to bring him out of it, given Marty is several times mentally stronger compared to Major Lehtinen. You all have your job cut out for you and spare him any negative thoughts or conclusions you may have arrived at." Hetty reminded both, though she kept her voice soft, her glare directed at Nate could boil water.


	13. Chapter 13

Amanda Johnston was pissed, scrap that, she was beyond pissed. Felipe Perez managed to give her team the slip. Not once but twice. She isn't angry that an injured low level enforcer has escaped but is furious that she hasn't caught the one person who can ruin the career and life of one of the very few men she trusts and respects.

'Marty Deeks' is not a name she takes lightly and having close connection to Hetty has nothing to do with it. Even before he had joined OSP as NCIS-LAPD Liaison, even before Hetty has taken over from Laura Macy, Amanda and Marty had crossed paths on a case. While the lead Detective gave her the run around, Deeks, who was undercover, joined forces with her Senior Field Agent who was also undercover and brought the criminals to justice.

The result was a commendation in her file and her SFA, Gregory Collin's file and a reprimand in Deeks's file for not obeying direct orders from his Handler. His Handler wanted Deeks to feed incorrect information to NCIS so that LAPD can get the credit but since the primary culprits were Navy personnel, Deeks turned over his evidence to Gregory who has closed the case and achieved the maximum possible sentence for the perpetrators.

The second time they crossed paths, he blew his cover to save Amanda and Gregory from a certain death at the hands of the cartel they were trying to close down. By the time Amanda brought in NCIS resources to shut down the cartel, Deeks was tortured to give up the information on the NCIS personnel involved in the operation. He had to spend a week in the hospital and hadn't given Amanda a chance to thank him. She admired his selflessness, sense of justice, and ability to mask himself behind the undercover personas he dons. She is one of the very few people who had seen beyond the mask.

Amanda offered him a job as a Special Agent on her team but he hasn't accepted saying that he is a Cop at heart. After he joined NCIS as an LAPD Liaison, Amanda lamented not having thought of such a role one her own team. It would've been a great way for him to be converted into a NCIS Special Agent. She is now aiming to capture Felipe Perez before he can cause any damage to the already fragmented physical and mental health of her favorite Cop from LAPD.

Back at the Hospital, getting on Hetty's bad side while evaluating Kensi weighed hard on Nate as he headed to talk to Sam and Callen.

"You here to get into our heads?" Sam asked angrily.

Nate held his hands in a defensive gesture as Callen spoke, "Calm down, Sam, he is just following orders."

"Look, as far as I am concerned, Deeks had done whatever it took to keep his team safe. In my book, they are all righteous kills. LAPD is the one trying to make him scapegoat of their own deficiencies. All I am trying to do is ensuring everyone on my team make it safely through this rough period." Nate explained.

"Then why the hell have you called them cold blooded murders." Sam glared.

"In case we cannot capture Felipe Perez, and LAPD get his hands on him, we all will be required to testify as character witnesses, and I am not going to jeopardize Deeks's career at any cost. Every one of us has to be on the same page to ensure that." Nate explained.

"Then I suggest you keep your comments away from Mr Deeks room. If he feels that even one of his team members doesn't trust him, we will not be able to save him." Hetty' stern voice made him jump.

"I am sorry Hetty; it was poor judgement on my part." Nate confessed.

As Hetty left the room, Kensi moved her chair closer to the bed and placed her hand on his. Remembering what Dr Hauser told, she willed herself to speak of her true feelings for her partner. There is no way in hell that she is gonna lose her partner.

"You know Deeks, I never thanked you. I never thanked you for coming back, I never thanked you for saving my life from the Russians, from Vakar, and even from myself and now you have done what is almost impossible to make sure that I will be safe." Kensi wiped her eyes and looked at him.

"Why are you so selfless? Being so selfless must be illegal. You cannot keep giving everything you have and never take anything from any of us." Kensi's voice quivered as she started searching for words.

"You kept my mother safe so that I can take down Claremont myself. You have always taken care of me and I have been giving you scars every time you've come to rescue me." Kensi was beginning to accuse herself for the current situation when Amanda arrived to check on her friend.

"Don't do that Kensi." Amanda interrupted Kensi's monologue. As Kensi wiped her eyes again before facing Amanda, "How is he?" Amanda asked.

"No change yet. He hasn't woken up since they have weaned him off the sedatives. Dr Hauser hopes he will wake up in a few hours though. Have you found Felipe Perez?" Kensi asked

"My Junior Agents Christopher and Pringle are on the trail. We wanted to see Marty for ourselves before we delve into the case today." Amanda commented.

"We?" Kensi raised her eyebrows.

"I am sorry, Amanda, It took me a while to find some good coffee. Any news?" Gregory asked as he passed coffee to Amanda.

"Nothing yet, Gregory. We need to capture Felipe Perez before he wakes up though." Amanda said as she stepped up to Marty's bedside.

"I am not about to let you down, Marty." Amanda promised and turned to face Kensi, "He will never even expect so much as thanks for anything he has ever done. He is just…" searching for words and unable to find the right word to describe him, Amanda continued, "he will always be Marty Deeks, the class clown who keeps sorrows and secrets from the whole world behind his mask. Keep him safe." Amanda left the room.

"Yeah, well you saved her team twice, she is bound to be driven to keep you safe but you have my word, I will keep her safe. I haven't forgotten what you said on that night. You saved my ass and I have to save someone else's but for me Marty, if there is anyone worth saving in this world, it will always be you. You've saved our lives." Gregory squeezed Marty's shoulder and left the room.

Both Amanda's and Gregory's confessions left Kensi shell shocked. This was something she hasn't heard of. As far as she is aware of, Deeks is the gloating type but he has kept such a huge achievement under wraps. _No wonder Hetty trusts him so much. _Kensi thought to herself.

"I am sorry I wasn't there when you needed me, Partner." Kensi muttered and squeezed his hand only to feel him squeezing back.


	14. Chapter 14

Kensi's eyes were glued to their joined hands for a few seconds before she gained some courage to look at his eyes. She cringed as she saw the storminess in the normally clear blue eyes. Even though he has just come out of sleep, the clouded eyes indicated the confusion and trouble that were taking over his mind.

"It's okay, Deeks. you're safe here." Kensi uttered and realized what a mistake it was as the heart monitor sped up. Deeks, even in such an injured condition is more concerned about his team and more importantly his partner. As he tried to get up from the bed Kensi held him down and repeated, "Deeks, we're safe here. Fernando Perez is dead. Detective Driscoll is arrested. There is no one out there who wants to get us killed."

Hearing the blaring Heart Monitor, Nate, Sam, Callen, and Hetty rushed into the room to find an agitated Deeks and distressed Kensi. Sensing what is agitating the young couple, Sam placed a comforting hand on Kensi's shoulder while Hetty and Callen approached Deeks with caution.

Hetty gained his attention by raking her fingers through the blonde locks in a comforting gesture as she uttered "Marty, we will keep her safe." Getting the assurance from the one person he trusts more than anyone else, Deeks calmed down and Callen helped him lie back down as Dr Hauser and Nurse Teresa rushed in with a cart full of medical equipment and drugs.

"Mr Deeks, Can you hear me?" Dr Hauser questioned getting a nod from the Detective in response. Dr Hauser ran various tests to assess his condition while the small group of NCIS OSP LA team stood to a side and observed. Dr Hauser paid attention to the normal tests and proceeded with extreme caution. He was not going to make a mistake that would ruin his place in Hetty's books. Finally, after completing all the tests, he ordered Nurse Teresa to get some jello while he spoke to the patient and his team.

"you're progressing nicely, Mr Deeks. The wounds are healing and there is no sign of infection. All we need you to do is get a lot of rest." Dr Hauser was happy to deliver the news but as he noticed his charge's expression, he understood that he needs his team and not a Doctor at the moment. He nodded towards Hetty and left.

As Kensi and Hetty moved towards the bed, Teresa silently entered the room and handed the jello containers to Sam and left the room as per Dr Hauser's instructions. Sam nodded to her and walked towards the bed with Nate and Callen following him.

"Marty." Kensi muttered as she placed her hand in his and squeezed gently. She almost squealed with joy when he squeezed back. Her eyes watering again, she muttered, "Thank you."

Hetty ran her hand through his hair and said, "We're glad you're alive, Marty. We're glad." Sam, Callen, and Nate nodded in response. Deeks only sighed as he took in the expressions of relief, gratefulness, and hope in the people around him. His mind is unable to understand why would people be grateful to him when he had become a cold-blooded murderer.

_You don't deserve it, Marty. _His mind harshly reminded him what he did.

_All of these people are Law Enforcement Officers just like you used to be before you executed the cartel for attacking your partner._ His eyes widened as he realized why he would be in a hospital.

_What? You thought Callen and Sam would let it go that you killed so many people in cold blood or did you expect Bates not to get you prosecuted? _His mind continued to ridicule him.

As Nate observed the changing expressions on Marty's face, he sighed. He personally hoped that the Doctors would leave him heavily sedated to enable Deeks to get the sleep he needs for his recovery. He wasn't ready to begin the psychotherapy his patient needs. Sighing once again, he placed his hand on Kensi's shoulder indicating that he needs to talk to Deeks. But as Deeks refused to let go of her hand, Kensi flatly refused to be removed from the room.

Observing the non-verbal interaction between Nate, Kensi, and Deeks, Hetty gestured to speak to Deeks from her position and made her way out after whispering, "I need you to get well Marty, just concentrate on that."

Sensing that a therapy session is going to be underway, Sam handed the jello to Kensi and ushered Callen out into the corridor. Callen squeezed both Marty's and Kensi's shoulders before leaving.

**Author's Note: I'm not aware of how PTSD and guilt are treated by an actual therapist. Here, Nate and Kensi are only acting as friends to help Deeks through the phase. **

As Nate gestured to her, Kensi returned her attention to her partner. "Deeks." She called softly. As the storminess in Marty's eyes continued and the pained and guilty expression stayed on his face, Kensi repeated, though maintaining the same amount of concern as earlier, her tone is firmer this time.

Deeks tried to focus on her voice and slowly tilted his head towards his partner. His vision was still a little unfocussed as an after effect of working himself to the ground to 'handle' the cartel for attacking his partner and the pain killer that are being pumped into his body. Once Kensi was sure that her partner was looking at her, she looked directly into his eyes and said, "Thank you."

The two words held so much emotion that Nate was moved. Here he is witnessing probably the most intimate moment between the partners. Sure, there had been rumours going around OSP that Kensi and Deeks have already slept together but being the psychologist, he could clearly see that had never happened. Thinking that this was not the time for letting his emotions get the better of him, Nate steeled himself and wiped his tears away.

"Deeks" Nate called this time. As Deeks continued to focus on Kensi, he sighed indicating that Kensi will have to do the talking.

Taking a deep breath, Kensi said in a firm tone, "You did what was needed to keep your partner safe. We are proud of you. You need to rest and recuperate. Everything else can wait."

Deeks regarded her silently for a long time as if he is assessing the truth in her statement. Finding nothing that suggests that she is lying, Deeks relaxed before his confused mind flared again.

_Do you honestly think that you can stay on knowing that you have killed so many people for revenge? Didn't you hear what she said, 'Everything else can wait' your indictment is part of 'The Everything'_. Deeks wanted to escape the unknown kindness, sympathy, concern, and care from his teammates and the accusation of his own mind but remembering the pain he experienced and given that he has witnesses, he decided to bide his time before he was ready to escape.

Nate noticed the turmoil in Marty's expressions. He knew from experience of treating PTSD patients, what guilt associated with traumatic events can lead to. He needs to cut this feeling Deeks has before it blows up exponentially.

"Deeks" This time, he was louder and firmer. As Deeks turned his head to look at Nate, he asked "Are you here to evaluate if I'm eligible to stand trial?" Even though Deeks voice was low and sounded scratchy, it hit Kensi and Nate like a ton of bricks shaking their confidence in pulling their friend through.

"No, Deeks. I'm here because you're my friend and you're hurt." Nate answered softly as he recovered his bearings.

Kensi bent and pressed her lips to Marty's forehead and said, "You kept your promise to watch my back, Deeks. I'm not about to lose you. You hear me, I. Am. Not. About. To. Lose. You." Kens stretched the last sentence stressing on every word to emphasize that she still wants Deeks as her partner.

_She really wants me to be her partner. _Marty's heart as filled with joy only to be shot down by his mind. _Oh! Yeah! She really wants you to watch her back. Where were you when she was beat down by Fernando's goons?_

Both Kensi and Nate thought that it was the right thing to say as they watched Marty's elated expression and as his expression fell, she knew that she made a mistake.


	15. Chapter 15

_Both Kensi and Nate thought that it was the right thing to say as they watched Marty's elated expression and as his expression fell, she knew that she made a mistake._

And for the love of God, Kensi couldn't figure out what was her mistake. Nate made the connection. Kensi was attacked when Deeks was not around and he is now blaming himself for not being there to fight off the offenders.

"That was not your fault, Deeks. You couldn't have known that Kensi would be targeted." Nate said in a firm voice. Marty tried to hold onto the hope that he didn't make a mistake but still his partner was hurt and he wasn't there to protect her. Kensi looked at Nate and her troubled eyes told Nate all he needed to know. She is not handling it well but only her presence in the room is keeping Deeks calm. Kensi took a deep cleansing breath. This is the time for some hard facts.

"Were you the one that beat down on me?" Kensi asked. Deeks was shocked that she could ask such a question.

"No." Deeks answered.

"Were you the one who took money from Fernando to leak information about Kensi?" Nate asked this time.

"No." Deeks answered.

"Then I don't see how it is your fault." Nate said.

"I should've been careful. I'm an undercover cop. I should've known that someone was following us." Deeks was getting angrier and his pulse rate increased indicated by the heart monitor.

"Do you blame me for you getting shot?" Kensi asked bluntly. Even to this day she blames herself to an extent for Deeks being shot and his extended stay at the hospital for his death wish to save her.

"How could you even think that I would blame you?" Deeks was shocked at the question.

"Then none of this was your fault Deeks. I was attacked because Fernando Perez decided to run a cartel. I was attacked because Driscoll decided to get onto Fernando's payroll. I was attacked because Driscoll leaked the information to Fernando. There is no one, I repeat, no one I would rather have as my partner. Do you understand that?" Kensi's voice gradually became louder.

Deeks sighed. He could understand that none of the team blames him for the attack on Kensi but he couldn't understand how they would want him on the team after knowing what he had done. He had become a vigilante.

"Deeks, here have some jello. We will talk about this when you're not under the influence of pain killers and when you're not in an emotionally compromised state. But we will talk." Nate stated firmly as he opened a jello container.

Kensi adjusted the bed into a slanting position and held up a spoonful of jello in front of his mouth, waiting for him to open his mouth. Deeks regarded both his companions carefully and as he didn't find any indication that they are simply playing him, he opened his mouth accepting the jello. After a few minutes, one empty jello container left on the table, Kensi pressed the call button. Nurse Teresa came in to take the empty container away and increase the morphine drip to allow Deeks to sleep.

Once Nate was sure that Deeks was asleep and cannot hear him in the drug induced sleep, Nate began a blunt conversation with Kensi.

"What is Marty to you, Kensi?" Nate asked and as Kensi glared, he put his hands up in a defensive gesture and continued, "I know it is a touchy subject, but a subject that has to be discussed. I promise you whatever we speak as a part of this conversation will remain between us."

"He is everything I need." Kensi answered honestly.

"What if Jack comes back into your life?" Nate asked knowing that Kensi needs to answer the question for her own good. Being the Operational Psychologist, he knows about her past and he had to ask the question to understand her better.

_Damn it! I haven't even thought about that._ Kensi has never truly moved on from Jack but over the past few years, the thoughts have occurred rarely. All she could think of was her partner. As much as she teased him with her first dates, she has a sense of possessiveness about Marty. She had been paying more attention to her make up ever since she saw him kiss Nicole. She wanted herself to be woman Marty flirts with. She hated every woman that tried to snag him with all her being. She let him teach her surfing just to spend that extra time with him.

_Am I still that naive, fairy tale believing girl that fell for Jack? What will I do if I see him now? _The questions started tearing at her soul.

Nate commented, "Kensi, you need to answer that question to yourself for your own good."

"I don't know, Nate." Kensi answered the question and continued, "It had been eight years since he walked out on me. Honestly, I haven't thought it through about what I would do if I met him again. But If I have to choose between Deeks and Jack, it will always be Deeks. He is too important for me to lose from my life. I have lived my life without Jack in it for eight years, Nate but the first time I ended up in the hospital, all I wanted to see was Deeks. I don't know what I feel for him but I know that I cannot live without him." Kensi's reply was laced with heavy emotion.

Nate sighed as he realized that Kensi is entering into the same obsession she had when Jack returned from Iraq with PTSD. But this time Jack is replaced by Deeks. Back then, Kensi didn't have the luxury of a support system. Back then, she was still a college student but now, she has Federal Agents and an Operational Psychologist to help her but she is the one who has to let them help her.

"Kensi, Deeks is way too important for us to lose him as well. I will not leave any stone unturned in trying to help him but I need you to let me help you, let us all help you through this." Nate said only to get a nod from her in response.

Unknown to the team, Felipe had another narrow escape from Amanda and her team as she exited the hospital. Dressed in a Nurse uniform and having altered his appearance, he entered one of the nurse stations and searched for Marty Deeks in the patient registry. Noting that he is a patient in the ICU, he made his way to the ICU and immediately spotted the room where Deeks was being treated. As he noticed the protection detail, he knew there is very little chance for making his move.

Just as he left the ICU area, he overheard a couple of nurses mentioning that the security detail is being called off the next day. Smirking to himself, he planned his revenge on the cop that had taken away his riches and most of his family.


	16. Chapter 16

The next time he woke up, Deeks couldn't find Kensi but Sam sitting with him, working on a laptop.

"Sam." Deeks greeted the Senior Agent.

"Marty." Sam returned the favour by calling him with the name he prefers.

"Kensi?" Deeks questioned as his brow furrowed with concern. Sam smiled slightly observing that Deeks is still worried about his partner.

"She needs her rest too. Dr Hauser arranged for another cot in this room. She's resting to your left side." Sam replied as he stood up taking a cup of water with a straw in it. Marty turned his head and noticed his partner sleeping on the cot next to his.

"Need some?" Sam asked gently by bringing the cup into Marty's field of vision and as Marty nodded, he helped the younger man sip some of the liquid. "Don't be greedy, only small sips." Sam coached him gently.

Nurse Teresa entered at the same time to check Marty's vital statistics and as she faced the business end of Sam's SIG, she didn't flinch. She had gotten used to such over protection for the Detective she had attended for the past few days. She simply held her hands up in a defensive gesture.

"I'm sorry. I was just caught off guard." Sam apologized.

"Don't worry about it." Teresa waved it off and went on to check the readings of various machines Marty is hooked up to.

"You are making good progress, Marty and you've got good friends." Teresa complimented the efforts the team has put in ever since he was out of surgery.

"Thank you." Marty replied even though he didn't understand why they would still stick with him. He has become a vigilante, someone he hated with his entire being.

Sensing the turmoil in Deeks, Sam waited patiently for Teresa to leave before he spoke.

"Marty, we do what we do to keep our Nation and our loved ones safe. I am not going to placate you by speaking a platitudes but you need to know that everyone on the team has skeletons in their closet. Whatever you did to keep Kensi safe is exactly that – A skeleton in your closet. And we, as your team and friends intend to keep it that way. It will never come out." Sam said in a simple matter-of-the-fact tone.

Deeks nodded to show that he understood the sentiment but still he couldn't understand how taking out a cartel can be considered as a simple skeleton in his closet. It is worth at least 10 or 15 skeletons and he voiced his doubts.

"Sam, How can this be just locked in a closet. I have killed so many people and for what. Just because they hurt my partner." Marty's voice carried self-incrimination and guilt.

Sam took a deep breath as he understood what Hetty meant by saying he is mentally very strong. "Do you remember the case where we went to investigate a SEAL Team about a murdered Marine?" Sam questioned.

"Is that your skeleton?" Deeks asked.

Sam nodded and replied, "We all doubted one SEAL for killing him out of jealousy but the fact is that the Team had taken the marine out for betraying his country. I am the only one who knows the truth apart from the SEAL Team and now you. It is my skeleton, Deeks, a skeleton I chose to bear with me because it meant the country has the services of a dedicated and patriotic SEAL Team."

As Marty's face showed signs of confusion about how could keeping a secret and taking out an entire cartel be equals, Sam took a deep breath and started speaking again.

"Marty, every one of the cartel members, be it a drug dealer, a distributor, an enforcer or the cartel head you've killed is responsible for derailing youth from the right path in their life. They have managed to destroy the futures of hundreds of high school and college students turning them into junkies. I want you to hold on to the fact that you've made Los Angeles safer for youth. Agreed your reasons might not have been the best or the path for that matter but you've kept your partner safe and saved the lives of several more. In my book, that is worth hiding a skeleton for you."

Marty nodded understanding that Sam didn't blame him for his actions or his reasons. He pretty much said he approved Marty's actions in taking out a cartel.

"But, I want you to know that everyone in this team cares about everyone else. You don't get to go all lone wolf on us. It doesn't matter what your intentions were. Losing you is not a choice any of us is willing to make. I need you to remember that." Sam said in a stern tone to drive his point.

Nurse Teresa made her entry with a food tray for Marty. Sam adjusted the bed to and helped him eat. Just as Deeks was almost done with his food, Kensi woke up.

"Hey Partner." Deeks greeted is groggy partner.

"Hey." Kensi responded as the unopened Jello container caught her sight.

"Have it. I just had some food." Deeks gave a reply to the unasked permission. Kensi sighed and took the container.

Sam smirked at the pair and pulled a bag containing Kensi's SIG and extra clips of ammo. He handed it over to her saying, "Its standard procedure for protection detail to carry weapons."

"Protection detail?" Deeks eyed his team members as he tried to understand why he would need a protection detail.

"Right now, Bates is on Hetty's and Granger's shit list and they are on his shit list. He wanted to indict you and that made both Hetty and Granger angry. Granger created so much paper work and made it an NCIS case as NCIS Special Agent Kensi Blye was attacked and most of the dead cartel members were suspects. Bates had to give up the case. Knowing him well enough, Hetty arranged protection detail with a list of people who will be allowed to see you. Unfortunately, no one from LAPD made their way into the list. Your friends in DA's office and Public Defender's office called in favours and no Judge is ready to sign off a warrant for anything against you. Bates is furious that nothing in this case went his way." Sam explained.

"Granger is protecting me?" Deeks was surprised.

"I am not surprised. I mean he had you go on an undercover mission for him." Kensi said.

"HE WHAT?" Sam was surprised.

"I sent him on an undercover mission." Granger made his grand entry and glared at Kensi. Kensi managed to look contrite.

"Alone without any back up." Sam growled.

"No, Agent Hanna. Agent Blye would be his back up when he needs to go back in again. If I am right Hetty read her in though I asked her to keep it away from the Team and wanted myself to be his back up but given what transpired with Agent Renko's undercover operation, I am sure Hetty has her doubts about my capabilities in backing Mr Deeks." Granger replied.

"You mean to say I still have my job." Deeks asked.

"If by saying 'job', you mean as a Detective, yes the job is still there but I wouldn't recommend you going back there. We need you here as a NCIS Special Agent with the OSP. Everything is in place for you to become one except your signatures." Granger explained in his usual gravelly tone before adding, "Marty, I know that being a cop is more than just a job for you but there comes time when you have to make a choice, when being a cop is not enough to keep people safe. Please think about it."

Marty was lost deep in thought as Granger informed the Team that LADP has somehow caught wind of the fact that Felipe Perez is alive and they are looking for Felipe as well. If he is caught by LAPD, it might get tad bit difficult is protecting Deeks from being prosecuted. Hetty had called in a favour from one of her lawyer friends to represent Deeks if it comes to that. All Deeks has to do is allow that friend to represent him even though he is a Lawyer.


	17. Chapter 17

Felipe Perez tried to gather some of his younger cousins who were trying to learn their ropes on the street to enter the family business. But after what transpired with Fernando and after learning what one pissed off cop did to an entire cartel, only five were courageous and stupid enough to join Felipe in his path for revenge.

One of the cousins, Consuela Lopez, a who worked at the hospital's pharmacy was not interested in getting into the revenge operation but agreed to provide information on Marty Deeks. She had been stealing prescription pain killers and making money on the side lines. Felipe Perez blackmailed her into revealing the information about Deeks. Her job allowed her to interact with nurses from various departments including the ICU.

Consuela learnt from Teresa that the protection detail had been called off and only a woman was still staying with him. She also learnt the room to which he has been shifted after Dr Hauser was convinced that he didn't have to stay in the ICU. She passed on the information to Felipe Perez in exchange to never mentioning her name and cousin in the same sentence ever. In the aftermath of Fernando's death, she realized the self-destructive path she was on and is working on staying clean from any illegal activity.

Felipe Perez had been a low level enforcer the cartel. His job was to do what his cousin told him to do. Fernando would carefully lay out a plan of action with the help of some higher level enforcers. Felipe, given his familial connection with Fernando would boss around the goons in performing the activities as demanded by his cousin. But right now, he is the only remaining cartel boss and the younger generation looked up to him to become crime bosses one day.

Felipe Perez obtained the hospital plans using his less than legal methods and studied the paths to Marty's room. His plan was simple. All six of them would stroll around the hospital. When the time is right, the cousins would take some hostages and create a diversion. Felipe would enter Marty's room and inject his own concoction of chemicals into the IV. The concoction would make Marty suffer and finally die. In case he couldn't get close enough to Marty Deeks to inject the chemicals; Felipe was going to shoot him dead. In Felipe Perez's mind, it was a fool proof plan. His charges, having no experience in cartel related activities decided to follow his lead.

Consuela Lopez hasn't expected NCIS Special Agents showing up at her doorstep. Hence, when Gregory and Amanda knocked on her door, she ran. No matter how hard she ran, she wasn't a match for the NCIS Agents. They captured her before she even crossed the block.

She is now seated in the interrogation area of the boat shed. Amanda and Gregory, the masters of Good Cop-Bad Cop routine entered the room. Amanda, playing the good cop, sat down with a friendly smile on her face as she placed a file titled Consuela Lopez in front of her.

"Ms Lopez. Why did you run?" Amanda asked in a smooth voice as if she is speaking to a child, trying to understand why the child is acting up.

"She's got something to hide. I'm telling you. When Sarah gets that warrant, I'm gonna tear her house apart to find what she is hiding." Gregory, playing the bad cop barked from his position in Consuela's blind spot.

"I knew that NCIS is investigating that Detective's case. I was afraid that you came to arrest me for providing information to my cousin." Consuela confessed. Gregory was too surprised to make a comment. Amanda kept a straight face but internally she was freaking out.

"Do you know what his plan is?" Amanda asked without showing any emotions on her face.

"I don't know. He asked me when would there be a shift change and I told him. He said he is going to extract revenge on the Detective today." Consuela confessed.

"How many people are going to help him?" Gregory growled from the blind spot.

"I don't know how many he has gathered." Consuela replied in a quivering voice.

"Ms Lopez, I am willing to make a deal with you. If you give us information on the attackers, we will let you go." Amanda took a gamble.

"I don't know how many are going to help Felipe. For the past two days, he has been calling and meeting two of my cousins. I can give you their photos and details. But I don't know if anyone else has agreed to help him." Consuela replied, happy that she has a way out. _Once these Navy Cops let me go, I am going to Arizona._ Consuela made a decision to keep as much distance as she can between the criminal cousins and herself.

Outside, Sarah Christopher, and Mason Pringle put in a call to Hetty and informed her about Consuela's confession. Hetty instructed them to go undercover at the hospital and called Callen and Sam. Amanda and Gregory escorted Consuela to her apartment and collected the photographs. With the help of Nell, and Eric, the photographs are sent to the smartphones of all the NCIS agents working the case and who have been read into the operation as Security Detail for Marty.

Dr Hauser arranged for another room and moved Marty and Kensi. Since Felipe has possibly seen Callen and Sam, they were to remain in Marty's old room in case any of the perpetrators manage to make it that far. Nate and Amanda's team would be stationed in the ER area. That is the only unsecured area in the hospital and most possibly the place from which Felipe and his followers would gain entry into the hospital.

Mason Pringle and Gregory Collins are dressed as Cops. With their macho bodies, there was no way they could sell a cover as Male nurses. Nate Getz is undercover as an ER doctor, Amanda as a distraught sister of Sarah Christopher who had been brought in as a victim of domestic abuse by her boyfriend. Mason and Gregory are the uniforms escorting Sarah for the duration of her ER visit.

At exactly 1400 hours, the nurse stations are teeming with the previous shift and the next shift people discussing the cases and general gossip. Felipe and his followers entered the entered the ER area. Felipe has changed his appearance drastically and before the facial recognition could get a hit on him, he smoothly slipped towards the private rooms.

Sarah recognized two of the perpetrators from the photographs Consuela has provided as a part of the deal. When they saw Mason and Gregory walking towards them, both of them panicked and pulled out their guns. The remaining three perpetrators started shouting and were about to pull their weapons when Sarah, Nate, and Amanda dropped them with an efficiency that would make Hetty proud. Seeing their cousins drop dead, the remaining two perpetrators tried to flee the scene only to be captured by the hospital security.

Hearing the commotion and gunshots, Felipe Perez rushed towards Marty's room. Since this was the first time he was all on his own, scared out of his mind due to the gunshots and determined to extract revenge, Felipe held the gun in his right hand and the syringe in his left hand. Based on his past experiences with Fernando where the Cartel Boss would at the most pay one visit to the Cartel Members in the hospital and leave them to their fate, he hadn't expected to face NCIS Agents in the Detective's room.

"NCIS. Drop your weapon." Callen and Sam yelled at the same time. Felipe's face fell as he noticed two guns aimed at him. Knowing that he has no escape, Felipe lifted his right hand and absorbed six perfectly aimed bullets to his heart. He was dead before he hit the floor. Sam and Callen haven't even bothered to check his pulse knowing how true their aim is. They looked at each other just for a second and took off. Callen towards ER area to co-ordinate with Amanda and the LAPD and Sam towards Marty's room where he is sure Kensi would be having a hard time keeping Deeks in place.


	18. Chapter 18

Marty Deeks woke up with a startle as he heard the gunshots. Suddenly all he could see were Sam and Callen trying in vain to hide from the oncoming assault of bullets.

"SAM" Marty screamed as the vision playing in his mind showed Sam getting shot. The anguish and the pain in his voice almost broke Kensi's heart. Just as Kensi was reaching for Marty, Sam skidded to a halt into the room. Taking a deep breath, he stopped Kensi from touching Marty. He had seen several of his buddies in the assault teams fall apart at a time when they have flashbacks and they've always reacted violently to any tactile contact.

"Deeks." Sam spoke in his Chief Petty Officer tone. A tone he has never used in presence of his team mates. Marty hasn't shown any sign that he recognized the voice but he swung his head in the direction with such force that Kensi was sure he would suffer a whiplash.

"I am right here. Concentrate on my voice." Sam instructed in the exact same way he instructed his charges during his Navy SEAL days. Deeks seemed to listen to him.

As soon as Callen reached the ER area, he sent Nate running towards Marty's room. Nate came to a halt at the room's entrance but held back. Whatever Sam is doing seemed to work and he is not prepared to undo any good Sam had achieved within this time. Gregory sent both the team leaders after Nate left mentioning that he would handle everything.

"Close your eyes." Sam ordered. Deeks complied and closed them shut tightly.

"What do you see?" Sam questioned.

"You're shot." Deeks voice quivered as he answered.

"No, I am not. I am the one doing the shooting. I shot a criminal. Visualize that." Sam ordered. Marty's face took on an expression on confusion. Sam needed a way to remind him that it is truly him speaking and not some twisted imaginary person projected by Marty's traumatized mind.

"Deeks, it is NCIS Special Agent Sam Hanna, African-American from Brooklyn. I hate going into the desert. Do you remember me?" Sam continued. Marty nodded in the affirmative. Kensi relaxed as she saw Marty relaxing slowly.

"You're in a hospital. Your team is safe. Hold on to that and gently open your eyes." Sam brought his voice from the Navy SEAL level to a gentle caring older brother tone. Marty opened his eyes and looked at Sam.

"Sam, you're alright." Marty's voice cracked with emotion. Sam, the usually uptight ex-Navy SEAL hugged Marty knowing that he would allow the tactile stimulus better in his current condition only to find Marty returning the hug. Callen and Amanda arrived just in time to see the emotional scene. Callen had several inappropriate quips for the current situation but he failed to voice them as he watched the anguish and relief on Marty's face.

At Sam's nod, Kensi approached Deeks with caution. "Marty" Kensi gently called him. Deeks responded to her voice with a verbal nod and looked around as he let Sam go. Sam took a step back but kept his hand on Marty's shoulder.

The first emotion Marty felt was that of relief that all his Teammates are alive and safe. Most of Kensi's bruises have disappeared and the cuts and abrasions have healed. Knowing the next emotion that will show on his face, Nate took charge of the situation, pushing Callen, Amanda, and Sam out of the room. Knowing it wouldn't make a difference even if he tried, he didn't even try to send Kensi out.

As embarrassment settled on Marty's face, both Kensi and Nate prepared for the oncoming self-blame from Deeks.

"Marty" Kensi called again. Deeks couldn't meet her eyes. "Marty, look at me." Kensi pleaded this time. When Deeks looked at her, Kensi was frightened of the defeat she saw in his eyes.

_I just had a flashback on hearing some gunshots. What if it happens when we're in the field? I'll freeze and Kensi will pay the price for it._ The thought itself was unbearable for Deeks. As he tried to get up, Nate used his body weight to stop him.

"Deeks. Listen to me." Nate spoke in an authoritative voice as he remembered how Deeks followed Sam's orders.

"You are with us. Everyone is safe." Nate explained.

"But the gunshots…" Deeks mumbled. Nate sighed. He knew this would happen. He wanted Deeks to be moved to another hospital before the showdown, protecting him from any further psychological trauma. But Consuela was caught just earlier in the day and they hadn't had much time to plan and execute the whole thing. Hence, they moved him to a different room. At least if he was moved to a different floor or possibly into a sound proof isolation chamber, he would've had some protection but Dr Hauser disagreed saying that the sudden change in environment will cause more bad than good.

Nate knew what Dr Hauser did was right. If they had taken steps to protect Deeks from any further trauma, his mind would read it as mistrust in his abilities and it could manifest in ways they don't want to know. Dr Hauser used the ruse of a spreading Hospital infection that was causing complications and moved him to a sterilized room so that his current room can be sterilized. Since Kensi also moved with him, Deeks didn't suspect anything.

But the gunshots indicated something else and Deeks made the connection. "Someone came after me, isn't it?" Deeks voice held no emotion, just acceptance. Knowing that lying to him wouldn't do any good, Nate nodded. "Was that why my room was changed?" Deeks asked.

"No, Mr Deeks. Changing your room was hospital's decision. I know you wouldn't accept anything without a proof seeing that you are an investigator. Here is the paperwork." Dr Hauser made a grand entrance showing him the paperwork indicating the changes in the rooms of the entire floor where he was housed for sterilization.

"You will be moved back to your old room as soon as the sterilization is complete and the fumes are cleansed." Dr Hauser explained.

"This paperwork is dated last evening, authorizing the movements?" Deeks observed keenly making it clear why Hetty wanted him on the Team.

"Yes, Mr Deeks. Every week, we prepare cultures of bacteria found in common areas of all the floors. As you know, Hospitals are breeding grounds for infectious bacteria. No matter how many measures we take, the bacteria continue to make their presence felt in the form of infections that cause complications. The results of the most recent culture suggested that a dangerous flesh-eating bacteria was found in the common areas of your floor. The results are included in the paperwork. As a precaution, we moved all the patients in your floor to sterilized rooms and proceeded with caution. We've also introduced a more powerful antibiotic into your IV to fight the bacteria if you're infected." Dr Hauser explained.

Deeks narrowed his eyes at both Nate and Dr Hauser. "Now, why don't I believe you Dr Hauser? You brought the paperwork as proof that my movement was as per hospital procedure as soon as I woke up due to the gunshots."

"That was because I called him the moment Agent Johnston called me explaining the shooting here. I know you Mr Deeks. You don't accept anything at face value. You have an obsession with finding the truth behind everything. I just wanted to make it easier for you" Hetty entered the room and looked straight at Deeks.

"Felipe Perez, the last enforcer you left out before you came to Callen and Sam's rescue somehow caught your old room number and brought some rookie drug dealers to kill you. As informed earlier, Hetty had arranged for protection detail to prevent LAPD from pulling any stunts. They've taken care of the drug dealers and Felipe Perez." Nate explained, while Hetty made a mental note to prepare the case file to show the same.

"So, innocent people were in danger because of what I did? Great Job Deeks." Deeks continued his self-loathing.

"No, Marty. Innocent people were in danger because of the choices Fernando, Felipe, and Driscoll made. You saved innocent lives by taking them out." Hetty stated firmly as she placed her palm against his cheek.

_How can they forgive and accept what I did? I killed people in cold blood. Why don't they seem me for the murderer I've become and the fact that I put innocent lives in Danger?" _Marty's mind was doing a bang up job in confusing and depressing him.

"I will explain the reasons when you're out of the hospital, Mr Deeks. Till then, I want you to concentrate on getting better. You also have painful physiotherapy coming up for you. The toll the bullets took on your left arm and right thigh has to be undone and make you fit for field work again." Hetty commented.

"But Hetty…" Deeks tried to reason.

"No buts, Mr Deeks. Your job now is to get better. Ms Blye will be your instructor and Sam is in charge of your physical training." Hetty ordered and left the room.

Dr Hauser conducted the required tests and confirmed that the startled awakening had no negative effects on his patient and left. He knew Hetty would be waiting for him and went straight to his chamber.

"Patrick, Thank you." Hetty thanked the Doctor for his help in convincing Deeks that his movement had nothing to do with the plan to repel the attack.

"Hetty, this is nothing compared to what you did for me." Patrick replied with a grateful look towards the short woman standing in front of him

"That was ancient history, Patrick and this is the present. If there is anything I can do for you, you know where to find me." Hetty said and left the chamber.

Dr Hauser sighed as he remembered his days as a CIA operative. He was a trained Doctor and his job was to infiltrate a terrorist group as a Doctor and gather intelligence. When his cover was blown and CIA turned its back on him, Henrietta Lange swooped in for the rescue. He can never repay Hetty for what she did for him.


	19. Chapter 19

Hetty bullied the LAPD into making the reports to represent the story they've sold to Marty Deeks. As instructed by Dr Hauser, the nursing staff stood ground that NCIS was there for the protection of a material witness in the attack on an unnamed Federal Agent. The same story had been fed to the media. When media started asking questions about the witness and the Federal Agent, the spokesperson made a statement that due to the classified nature of the operations the Federal Agent and the Detective worked upon and are still a part of, their details cannot be revealed.

As always we have Media Whores looking for their 15 minutes of fame. One such Media Whore orderly offered up juicy details mentioning that it was an undercover operation to assassinate an Enforcer of a recently shut down drug cartel. Some News Channel picked up the story and was prepared to run with it.

However, the news producer at the Channel wanted proof and background of the Cartel Members killed during the operation, given that NCIS is involved, and the story wasn't believable that a Federal Agency would plan an elaborate operation just to kill a handful of drug dealers and a low level enforcer. What they didn't know was the pull Hetty and Granger have in NCIS. When the details of Felipe Perez have been obtained by the News Channel, they've threatened a defamation suit against the Media Whore for trying to sell lies to them, thus completely tarnishing his credibility in the media.

Consuela Lopez watched the news at a bus station on her way to Arizona and didn't even shed a tear for the fallen cousin who brought the family to disrepute and the torture the family had undergone socially since Fernando and Felipe went into the Cartel Business. Although she felt bad about the dead novices and her arrested cousins, her fear of the law was greater than the blood ties and she continued on her journey to The Grand Canyon State.

Lieutenant Bates watched the news in his chamber and slammed his fists into the table. He knew that Hetty and Granger have already instructed the NCIS Agents to capture Felipe Perez well before LAPD can apprehend him. He had been holding off the IA inquiry even though the IA Board was pushing for it till he could capture the only witness to the massacre Deeks carried out. Agreed that Bates would be held at least partially responsible once Hetty presents the evidence to the IA board, he hoped to use his pull within the department to save his own ass and throw Deeks out to the wolves.

Now that there is no witness, and Deeks had taken forensic countermeasures to ensure there would be no evidence against him, Bates was in a catch 22 situation. He cannot neither cancel nor go ahead with the IA proceedings. He has no evidence or witnesses. Left with only one choice, Bates converted the IA inquiry into one against already disgraced Detective Driscoll. Pulling up all the evidence of Deeks sending him the reports and he delegating the filing responsibilities to Driscoll, he decided to throw Driscoll to the wolves.

If he is lucky, Bates would get a slap on his wrist for not conducting a thorough background check on Driscoll before making him a part of such a high profile undercover operation and the worst that could happen is a permanent IA censure in his file which would make his political ambitions take a back seat till he can build his credibility again in the force. A confident grin spread on his lips as he found a way for that. He is going to start that by visiting the Detective and pleading him to remain on the job.

The entire episode which is now an open secret within the NCIS and LAPD got new fans for Deeks within LAPD except within the circles close to Driscoll, a few resentful old generation cops and dead beat detectives. Hetty and Granger told Bates to accept the resignation. If he could convince Deeks to stay on the force, that would add to the credibility. Losing a subordinate the way he is most likely to lose Deeks wouldn't do him any good.

"What are you still doing here?" Marty asked Kensi startling her.

"What do you mean?" Kensi looked at Marty.

"Kensi, it's been two weeks since the attack on you. I know you weren't in a position to get out of here before I was brought in. I may not be a trained medic but you look pretty fine to me. No after effects of the concussion, no visible injuries. I also know that you always sign out AMA but this time, even after completely healing from your ordeal, you are still here." Marty asked looking straight at her.

"Well, I am listed as your attendant by Hetty." Kensi tried to evade the question by turning away from him in the pretext of adjusting the window curtains.

"Pacific Beach Medical doesn't allow personal attendants." Deeks shot back.

"You cared about me…" Kensi began speaking as she looked at the view outside.

"No, I didn't care about you. I wasn't even here." Deeks interrupted Kensi harshly. It almost broke his heart to do that but he knew he couldn't have good people like Kensi care for him. It would only lead to heartbreak for the one person he cares about most in his life. Breaking her heart at such an early stage would cause lesser pain than breaking her heart later.

Taking a deep breath, Kensi turned around. It's time to face the music. "Nell told me that you came in and somehow sneaked a glance at me every day." Kensi revealed the truth in a soft voice that Deeks had been caught on camera. Marty looked troubled at the revelation. Kensi walked to the bed. She sat on the bed and placed her hand against Marty's cheek, daring him to remove it. Deeks couldn't read what she was thinking.

"Marty, you know the first time I was admitted in a hospital, I was nine and broke my arm when I fell off my bike. When I woke up, all I wanted was to see my Dad. He was the one person I cared most about and the second time I was hospitalized, all I wanted to see when I woke up was you. I care about you and I am not about to abandon you in this hospital" Kensi spoke, trying to make Deeks understand that they care about him.

"You shouldn't trust me, Kensi. I took law into my own hands." Deeks spoke in a defeated voice.

"Why did you do that?" Kensi asked.

"Because I am weak. Because I couldn't keep my emotions in check." Deeks growled angrily.

"You are strong enough to take on an entire cartel for attacking your partner and come out of it alive. You kept your head leveled in ensuring that you wouldn't be caught before the threat is completely eliminated. If there is someone I want to watch my back, it is you, Marty because I know you wouldn't leave any stone unturned in keeping me safe." Kensi shot back.

"I became a revenge seeking bloodhound." Deeks argued.

"When I went after Peter Claremont, I was seeking revenge too, Deeks. But I had a partner watching my back and keeping my head screwed in place. Where was I when you needed m? If there is anyone who shouldn't be trusted, it's me." Kensi argued.

"It was my fault you were attacked in the first place." Deeks replied in a voice that fell again.

"I thought we had that discussion already. It was the fault of all those bad guys I was attacked." Kensi was feeling exasperated. _Don't lose it, Kensi. _ Kensi warned herself and took a few deep breaths. Deeks sighed. This wasn't going the way he wants. _I have to pay for my crimes. Why don't they understand?_

"Deeks, I always wanted to be one of the guys. You know, someone that doesn't need saving. I train harder than anyone on our Team to be that person. You on the other hand are the opposite of that. You like to whine over a paper cut, appear the weakest link in the Team, make fun of the trainings but in all the time I've known you, we had to save you only twice. But you saved me more times than I would like to count. You play the idiot to keep us all away from you. You are the strongest person on the Team, Deeks. We may accomplish tougher physical tasks but we cannot match your mental strength." Kensi confessed, completely surprising herself and Deeks.

Kensi's confession shook Deeks and when Kensi continued speaking, he listened, "You love hiding behind that careless surfer dude façade to keep us all at arm's length but you always try to learn everything about us. We truly don't know much about you, Deeks. But I know that if our roles are reversed, you wouldn't leave me in the lurch the way you want me leave you now. You've given too much of yourself, Deeks. It's time for us to return some."

Deeks was speechless at Kensi's assessment of him. Understanding that Sam, Kensi, Hetty, and Nate trust him beyond the boundaries and wouldn't let him go, his only chips are Eric, Nell, and Callen. Unbeknownst to him, Callen was overhearing the conversation. He silently walked away pulling his cell out. The phone was ringing at the other end and a gruff voice answered.

_"Gibbs"._


	20. Chapter 20

Nate called a meeting when Deeks was asleep. Since Kensi has made it clear that she wouldn't leave Deeks alone in the room even if he is sleeping, the team assembled in the ops and Kensi joined the meeting on the phone.

"As much as I admire the efforts you are putting in making Deeks feel better, we are going about it in a wrong way." Nate began without much of an introduction.

"What do you mean by wrong way?" Sam asked.

"He means that we are treating him differently from how we treated him before." Hetty explained.

"He is injured and is currently in a hospital, Nate. Of course, we are treating him differently." Sam replied.

"He was in the hospital earlier too, Sam. Back then, you lectured him about not taking precautions to stay as anonymous as possible. And now, we are all treating him with kid gloves." Callen explained.

"Kensi, I know I am the expert here but I want you to answer honestly. I am sorry to bring this up like this one but it is important. Was there a difference in the way Jack was treated before and after his tour to Iraq?" Nate asked.

Kensi blinked as she was surprised with the question. She has repressed all her memories of Jack, both good and bad. It pained her to have to delve into her past but if it helps Deeks, she would do it gladly. "Yes. Before the tour we were usually going out every day even if it is just a stroll in the park but after he came back, we remained mostly indoors." Kensi explained in a quiet voice.

"Why was there a change in routine, Kensi?" Nate asked, hating to be the one asking. Her quiet voice explained how difficult it was for her to relive the memories.

"After coming back, he used to be hyper vigilant. I was afraid he would hurt someone or himself when he has an episode. The risk was greater if we went out. There are too many angles to cover and keeping him from having an episode was taking a toll on him. In the early days of his return we went out and when he lost it near the cinemas, we were lucky that Cops didn't use lethal force on him once they knew he's war veteran. After that he stopped going out." Kensi explained.

"That made him feel useless. He was a Marine, a Soldier. Having to depend on Kensi for anything and everything related to outside world took a harsher toll on his being than the episode itself. He wasn't being himself. He started to feel suffocated and finally it broke him completely." Nate explained.

"Mr Deeks gained your respect due to this ordeal. I know you all want to show him that you value him as a member of the Team but in doing so, donning the kid gloves is doing more harm than good. People suffering from PTSD and guilt have a twisted logic. You make fun of them to show them that everything is normal; they think that you don't think they are capable of handling their job. When you try to handle them with care, they will think that they are not capable of handling their job and will add depression to the list of things they have to fight off." Nate continued.

"So, you're saying either way we're screwed." Callen commented.

"No, Mr Callen. What Nate is saying is that we have to give him space, behave normally with him, let him do things at his own pace but when needed, remind him that he can lean on us when it becomes too much." Hetty explained how they have to treat Deeks.

"Till the time he can get back on his feet and begin to function at least partly on his own, he would still need us to be with him. But once he is functional, make sure that you don't crowd him. Give him the space but be within the vicinity to not let him fall off the wagon. This will be a test for your patience, nerves, and emotional endurance. From what I've seen over the past few days, he will try to invent ways to get you all against him. No matter what happens, don't give up on him. And if you had similar experiences or know someone who has gone through a similar experience and still recovered, bring them in and have them speak to him. He will need every bit of emotional and moral support to get through this." Nate explained.

Hetty dismissed the meeting and as she sat down at her desk, Callen approached her office. "Yes, Mr Callen." Hetty acknowledged him.

"I have asked Gibbs to come here." Callen said without much of an introduction into the topic.

"I knew you would." Hetty replied.

"I haven't told him why we need him here. He had a similar experience. I hope he can help Deeks to come to terms with what happened." Callen explained his reasons in calling Gibbs.

"A wise choice, Mr Callen. Even though it's an open secret that Mr Gibbs shot Pedro Hernandez in revenge, he wouldn't want it discussed openly." Hetty observed.

"I shall pick him up from the airport later in the evening." Callen said as he stood up.

"I presume he would be staying with you." Hetty commented with a knowing smile.

"You know us Marines, we stick together." Callen replied with a smile of his own.

Marty woke up to find Kensi still sitting on the other cot in his room, deep in thought. He wondered what he had done to have her in his life, if he could ever come to terms with what he did and move on to find out how it would be to see her face as the last thing before falling asleep and the first thing every morning.

_Don't go there, Marty. You know that she deserves better._ His heart reprimanded. "Yeah, she does." Deeks mumbled unaware that he was speaking aloud.

"Deeks, you're awake." Kensi smiled as she approached his bed.

"Your detective skills are commendable Agent Blye." Deeks sarcastically commented. Kensi sighed as she remembered Nate's advice.

"No matter what you do, I am not leaving you, Deeks." Kensi shot back trying to make him see that they are not even remotely thinking of leaving him.

"Why Kensi?" Deeks looked troubled to know that the Team hasn't abandoned him.

"You didn't let me fall, Deeks. I am not gonna let you fall either." Kensi replied in a strong voice.

"I already fell, Kens. You don't have to get your hands dirty." Deeks replied with a sigh.

"Fat chance, partner. Everyone on the Team is prepared to dive right in if you let us. We're not ready to lose you." Kensi quipped.

"Yeah, right. Is that why you're the only one here?" Deeks attempted to throw her off with a scathing remark.

"I am the only one who can muscle my way in. That's why I am the only one here. Everyone else is waiting for you to let them in." Kensi replied.

"I don't think I can." Deeks replied as he hung his head.


	21. Chapter 21

Callen was waiting for Gibbs at the airport coffee shop. The flight was delayed due to technical issues. Not really known for his patience, he has already downed three coffees in the span of one hour delay. He tried to take his mind off the current crisis in his team by studying his surroundings. He's afraid that losing Deeks would leave very deep scars in his team. He thought about his team and their relationships with Deeks.

Hetty's reaction told him that though Deeks is not the one Hetty has followed right from his childhood, she shared a special bond with him, something deeper than he had seen her share with anyone. He knew he cannot be jealous of their relationship since Deeks has an uncanny ability to form such bonds with anyone and everyone but a slight twinge appeared in his heart when he saw Hetty run her fingers through Marty's hair, unsettling him.

Eric, technically not a member of the Team but he is still a very important for his team's success. He is going to become more workaholic than he already is if they lose Deeks. Callen is aware of the surfing sessions and silly competitions Deeks has with Eric to get him out of the Ops center and keep him from his addiction of video games.

Nell, their tiny Operations Manager in training, currently in disguise as Intelligence Analyst sees Deeks as he friend, someone she can rely on for advice on how to impress Eric. Callen smiled at the thought of both Technical Analysts. He tried to imagine their relationship once Nell takes over from Hetty. She already bosses Eric around save for certain situations. Nell's reaction at the hospital told him how badly she is affected by Marty's situation.

Then Sam, his partner, who openly despised Deeks but when he learnt that Deeks has gone off the grid and the first of many bodies was found, his reactions isn't what Callen expected. Callen expected Sam to get angry with the Detective for his recklessness but he was more worried about Marty's well-being. Then again, Sam is the one with a life outside the mission with his wife and kids. Given Sam's experience with his wife Michelle, he could understand why Deeks did what he did. He would've done the same thing if Sidorov tried to harm his wife.

At last, Callen thought about Kensi. Kensi would lose someone she cared for and loved for the second time in her life, third time if you consider losing her father to fate and that is bound to make her more reckless and more broken than she already is. Even with Deeks in her life, she takes risks that he wouldn't condone. If it isn't for Deeks, he knows that holding her back would be impossible. He is the voice of reason for her. No matter how much she mocks him or teases him, for her, his presence is the grounding force and he is the love of her life.

_How did the shaggy Detective become so important to everyone on the Team?_ Callen thought. Deeks had become a brother in arms for him with the several times he had come to the rescue of his Team members. _We cannot lose him now._

Gibbs looked at his friend from a distance. Callen looked troubled and he suspected that whatever is troubling the younger man is the reason for his trip to LA. He doubts if it's an NCIS case because if it is, he would've gotten the request from the Director himself and not a call on his personal phone from Callen.

Callen's first clue was the smell of sawdust and coffee, a special blend that only Gibbs would drink. The sensation was enough to wake him up from his thoughts. "Gibbs" He wished the older man as he took the go bag.

"Callen" Gibbs returned the greeting with a nod. Callen went back to being silent again and Gibbs was biding his time to ask the questions. As they entered the freeway, Gibbs started getting restless.

"Are we going to have to play twenty questions? Because, I don't have DiNozzo here to play that game well." Gibbs asked in his usual gruff way.

Callen glanced at Gibbs and chewed on the inside of his cheek thinking about how to breach the subject. He knows how sensitive the Pedro Hernandez issue is for Gibbs and how Gibbs likes to keep his life private. He is right now about to ask Gibbs to bare his life to Deeks, practically a stranger to Gibbs to save him and in turn save his team from falling apart.

_This is new. I've never known Callen not to speak freely in front of me._ Gibbs thought and he decided to keep his gruff manner aside to help his friend.

"What is it Callen?" Gibbs tried again in a genial voice.

"I need help to save my Team." Callen replied.

"What happened, Callen?" Gibbs continued in a soothing tone. Knowing Callen as closely as he does, Gibbs is certain that the team is not in physical danger, bound in a warehouse or some other hell hole with Callen trying to find them. If that was the situation, Hetty and Callen would right now be tearing the city apart to find them. _If it isn't physical, it must be psychological. God! How do I handle it?_

"What do you know about my team?" Callen asked calmly.

"Enough." Gibbs answered shortly.

Callen looked sideways and asked again, "Enough to do the job or enough to know what help I need?"

"I know that you're a close-knit team. I know that Agent Vail's and Agent Renko's deaths have hit you all hard. I know that Hetty tried to resign and you stole the resignation letter. I know that your team is prepared to follow you to hell and back as they did two years ago by following Hetty to Romania. I know that they aren't in any mortal danger and you need me to hold the team together." Gibbs answered, surprising himself and Callen that he spoke so many words at the same time.

Callen didn't seem surprised that Gibbs knew all that given the close relationship he has with Leon Vance, their director. "Then, you must've heard about Marty Deeks."

"Hmm…LA version of DiNozzo down to the letter. Damn idiot was also ready to take on Saleem Ulman to avenge Ziva and ended up rescuing her." Gibbs replied, his voice leaking the pride for Tony as he mentioned the Somalia Adventure a few years ago. Callen smiled as he remembered reading about the adventure.

"Right, he had McGee and you backing him. Deeks didn't give us a chance to watch his back. He went completely off grid and the cartel is now wiped out. He saved Sam and me in the final shootout. Right now, he is consumed with guilt and I don't know what to do. We've tried to explain that it would stay as a skeleton in his closet but he isn't agreeing. If I lose him, I'm gonna lose everything, Gibbs. I don't know what to do anymore." Callen sighed. There are very few things he hates more than admitting a weakness even if it is to a close friend like Gibbs.

Gibbs sighed as well understanding his friend's predicament. "I'll talk to him." Both remained silent for the rest of the trip.

"So, it's true…you're putting down roots." Gibbs commented as they reached Callen's house.

"What can you say to stop Hetty from making decisions for you?" Callen asked looking sideways.

"I'd do what DiNozzo does to me when he doesn't want me directing his actions." Gibbs replied.

"And what is that?" Callen asked as they entered the house.

"Annoy the hell out of me by whining about the loss of control or presence of whatever I've pushed into his life." Gibbs sighed, "He's lost love twice in his life, Wendy and Jeanne. I really hope he finds someone who can steady his boat."

"Afraid he'll turn into you, granted a version with more sense of humour?" Callen asked as he handed Gibbs a beer.

"More like, I already know it." Gibbs replied taking a sip of his beer. Gibbs learnt more about Deeks and the Team dynamic with Deeks during a conversation over beers at Callen's house. He wasn't least surprised that Hetty and Callen are waging the war to save him. He'd do the same to help DiNozzo.


	22. Chapter 22

Next morning, Deeks opened his eyes to a person he had never seen in his life. Salt and pepper hair, clean-shaven, trademark coffee in his hand, Gibbs was staring at the patient in the bed. Marty's eyes searched for his partner and as he couldn't find her, he returned his gaze to his visitor. Gibbs had sent Kensi home when he learnt that she hasn't visited her home since she was brought into the hospital. Of course that happened only after a furious argument between Gibbs and Kensi.

"Do I know you?" Deeks asked, his expression guarded.

"My name is Jethro Gibbs, Special Agent from NCIS DC Office." Gibbs replied and was surprised to find relief in Marty's eyes. He quickly covered that he was surprised and continued to stare at Deeks.

"Are you here to arraign me?" Deeks cut to the chase and spoke curtly.

"What makes you think that?" Gibbs replied with a question of his own.

"Just days after everything happens, a Special Agent from DC pays a visit, I'm not sure if you know about me but I was a Detective." Deeks shot back.

"Oh! I know about you and what you did but definitely not here to arrest you." Gibbs replied. The troubled expression made its appearance again on Marty's face. _Why the hell is NCIS protecting me? They should throw me to the wolves and wash their hands off me. _Marty thought bitterly.

"I'm here to take you to DC when you're discharged from the hospital." Gibbs said taking in Marty's masks and the meaning they held.

"Why?" Marty asked, his voice just above a whisper.

"You'll get to know in due time. But for now, I need you to rest up and heal." Gibbs said and went back to drinking his coffee and watching TV.

Marty observed the man closely trying to find the reasons a NCIS Special Agent from DC would want to take a lowly Homicidal Detective like him to DC. As the fog of the remnants of the pain-killer moved out of his mind and his vision and thinking became sharper, he realized who the man is.

"Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs, Team Leader for the MCRT in DC which has the highest case solve rate in all Federal Agencies. You are also known to be a functional mute, Marine Sniper, coffee aficionado, ill-tempered, arrogant bastard of Boss who is prepared to bend rules to get results." Deeks muttered.

"That's right." Gibbs answered not even looking at Deeks.

"Your Team was in LA about five years ago? An International Arms Dealer was killed by a Mossad Agent?" Deeks asked again.

"So, you do read up everything available." Gibbs gave a cursory glance to Deeks before returning to watch TV.

"Enough to know my Team." Deeks replied.

"You shot your Father when you were 11 to save your Mother and yourself. She was deemed unfit to raise you and you were sent to a foster home or should I say bounced between 23 foster homes. You went to college on Academic Scholarship and studied Law, worked as a Public Defender for a while, became a Cop as you've seen too much injustice, hoping to right the wrongs. You have a penchant for going undercover because it helps you escape personal demons but adds to several skeletons in your closet. When you're not undercover, you always deflect prying eyes with humor to keep them from seeing the demons you carry in your heart. You also have a death wish which flares up when your team is in trouble. You care a damn about what happens to you when it comes to saving innocent lives. Did I miss anything?" Gibbs said.

"I'm also a cold-blooded murderer who went on a killing spree and killed an entire cartel." Deeks replied bitterly.

Gibbs sighed internally. He could see the clear resemblance between Tony and Deeks, both mentally extremely strong. Anyone else would've taken the back-handed compliment for what it is and felt proud. It had taken Gibbs a long time to make Tony understand the there's more to life than job and women, an even longer time to have him let Gibbs in. Gibbs literally had to shove his way to understand his Senior Field Agent. But there's no one Gibbs trusts more than Tony. Tony is the only one who knows about his life with Shannon and Kelly, not even his long-time friend Ducky.

"We all have done that. I took out a cartel in its homeland, Columbia." Gibbs shot back, "And you know what, I brought the son of the cartel leader and made him a Marine." Gibbs smiled at the shock that appeared in Marty's face.

"Well, no offspring for the cartel boss I killed." Deeks mumbled.

"But you saved lives. You've taken out a cartel that was ruining the lives of thousands of kids. I agree that your reasons were personal but still you saved lives, most importantly you saved your partner." Gibbs pointed out the good that had come out of the operation.

"No, I didn't. If I watched her back then she wouldn't end up in a hospital." Deeks growled.

"At least you have her alive to tell you it isn't your fault." Gibbs muttered.

"You lost your partner?" Deeks narrowed his eyes at Gibbs.

"In the business we're in, having an unshakable moral compass is a liability, Deeks. You need to be flexible." Gibbs evaded the question.

"That wasn't an answer to my question." Deeks said in a sharper tone.

"Never said it is." Gibbs replied.

"Save the speech, Gibbs. I know what I've become and if I cannot uphold the law myself. How am I going to make sure others do?" Deeks cut to the chase.

"I'm not known for my speeches…" Gibbs started.

"I know that." Deeks interrupted.

"But I have some things I have to confess…" Gibbs started again.

"I'm not a priest." Deeks interrupted again much to the chagrin of Gibbs.

"Listen and listen carefully because the next time you interrupt, I'll gag you and then speak." Gibbs threatened this time.

"Your threats always work?" Deeks shot back. Gibbs sighed. _This isn't working_. He thought.

Kensi entered the room and commented, "I told you, it's out of your league, Agent Gibbs."

"I thought I sent you home." Gibbs turned to look at her. As a Marine, he prided himself in knowing his surroundings. But concentrating all his senses on the younger man in the hospital bed has thrown him off his game and allowed Kensi to sneak.

"No, you said, I have to visit my home and get a proper shower and I did." Kensi shot back.

"How long?" Gibbs asked.

"Long enough to know that you still blame yourself for your ex-partner's death." Kensi replied softly.

Gibbs sighed. Other than him, only a handful of people know that Jenny was killed in LA and not in DC. That handful may include Hetty but definitely doesn't include Callen or his Team. He was prepared to confess that truth if it would push Deeks in the right direction. But Kensi's persistent wish to keep Deeks company has ruined the purpose.

"I need coffee." Gibbs exited the room.

"I think I made him angry." Deeks said as his eyes were glued to the door.

"No, you didn't. He's always angry." Kensi replied.

"Why?" Deeks was confused. When Gibbs said he has something to confess, Deeks could see a pain, similar to the one he's experiencing now but he couldn't find it in himself to listen to Gibbs. _Why does it matter? _Deeks questioned himself. But his natural instincts of helping others and curiosity have unsettled him.

_You've become weak and emotional. You're sure that you wouldn't stay here. Staying here will only hurt the ones you care about. If you can take some of his sorrow and relieve him of the burden that would help a lot more people. Marty, you have to listen to what he says. _Deeks decided to give Gibbs a chance to speak when he comes back.

He's brought out of his thoughts by Kensi shaking his arm. As he looks at her, he understands that she's worried. Feeling guilty for worrying her, "I'm sorry Kens. I am just trying to understand what would make a man hide so much pain."

"What are you talking about?" Kensi asked, confused with his line of thought. Kensi's question gives Deeks all the information he needs, not many people are privy to Gibbs's past.


	23. Chapter 23

Kensi kept company till Gibbs returned. Seeing the Styrofoam coffee cup in his hand, Deeks threw a glance at his partner as if challenging her to question Gibbs on his habit. Even though the challenge gave her hope, hope that all is not lost, rolling her eyes, Kensi adjusted Marty's bed.

"Agent Blye! I need to speak to Marty Deeks." Gibbs spoke in his usual abrupt and gruff way. When Kensi made no attempt to move, he added, "Alone" with a gesture towards the door. Kensi glared at Gibbs and almost refused to leave the room until she heard her partner.

"Please, Kens." Marty's voice stopped Kensi from speaking further. She turned to look at her partner and the pleading look he had on his face was almost enough to convince her to go.

"Are you sure?" Kensi asked, willing him to give her a negative answer.

"Yes" Deeks replied as he held her gaze.

"Okay, you get an hour and then I don't care what you say or do I'm coming back." Kensi warned Gibbs and left the room. She couldn't hide the hurt she felt when Deeks asked her to leave the room, making Deeks feel guiltily about the situation.

"She loves you." Gibbs stated.

"I know." Deeks replied as he continued to look at the door. When Gibbs resumed to staring at him, Deeks prompted, "You said you have something to confess."

"Yeah, I do." Gibbs replied as he continued to regard Deeks with a critical eye. Deeks held his gaze and as it was turning into a staring contest, Gibbs sighed.

"I've heard about you, a lot about how good a Marine you were, how great an investigator you're, how amazing you are as a Leader, how one would be lucky to be on your Team. If you have something to confess, I'm beginning to doubt the stories." Deeks commented.

"To be a good Marine, all you've to do is follow orders to the letter. To be a good investigator, you need to have good instincts and a will to follow your instincts. To be an amazing Leader, you should know everyone's strengths and weaknesses and use them to get better results for the Team. And about the being lucky to be a part of my team, I cannot comment on it. You would've to speak to my Team about that." Gibbs replied. Remembering the promise he made to himself, Deeks remained silent encouraging Gibbs to continue.

"Having something to confess wouldn't make you any less. It indicates that you're human and are prone to committing mistakes. It indicates that you are strong enough to bear the pain those mistakes cause. It indicates that you've learned to live with your mistakes. In our business, everyone has something or other on their conscience. Unfortunately or fortunately, we have similar things on our conscience." Deeks narrowed his eyes at Gibbs as he drew similarities between them.

"What do you mean?" Deeks was surprised that a legendary NCIS Agent is drawing comparisons with himself.

"If you have to know I'll have to tell you two stories, my love stories." Gibbs sighed. He knew it would be hard for him to open up to his kindred spirit but he didn't expect it to be this hard. The pain still feels as fresh as it was on the day he lost them. He would've to relive the harshest parts of his life to save the young man in front of him and he was prepared to do it.

As Deeks observed the visible attempt on Gibbs's part to gather his thoughts and stomp down his pain he said, "You don't have to."

"I know I don't have to but I need to." Gibbs replied as he held Marty's gaze.

"Since you're already aware of my life, you would know that I joined the Corps in 1976, straight out of High School." Gibbs started looking at Deeks and upon receiving a nod, he continued speaking, "On my way to the training, I met a girl, Shannon, who was waiting for a train. I fell in love the minute I've seen her. Once I was out of training, we started dating and eventually got married. We had a daughter, Kelly." Gibbs's voice cracked even though he willed against it as he remembered the lost wife and daughter.

"I was in Kuwait, fighting in the Desert Storm in 1991. While I was there, Shannon witnessed a heinous crime, committed by Pedro Hernandez, the leader of Reynosa Cartel. She was the only witness the FBI had and was provided security detail. On her way to the court-house, Hernandez attacked. The SUV carrying her security, Shannon and Kelly was destroyed. No Survivors." Gibbs quickly wiped away the tear that made down his cheek. "Didn't know I still had them in me." Gibbs commented dryly. Deeks placed his good hand on Gibbs's thigh, the only place he could reach in silent support.

"I didn't have the will to fight or live anymore after I heard about them. I attempted suicide by rushing the Iraqi forces and was injured. They brought me Stateside and awarded a purple heart." Gibbs sighed sadly. "I kept chasing NIS, as NCIS was called back then for results. Finally Mike Franks, the NCIS Agent investigating the case caught a break and found that Pedro Hernandez is the culprit and is hiding in Mexico. He left the Case Report open in front of me, hoping I would find closure."

"You went after Hernandez." Deeks stated as he looked at Gibbs for confirmation. Gibbs nodded and stated, "Shot him dead from a mile away using my sniper skills."

Gibbs stood up and started pacing within the room. He needed a way to work the energy caffeine gave him which was rushing his emotions. "After, I killed Hernandez, I had nowhere to go. I had a house, but no home. My Father moved on and I couldn't accept it. I almost ate my gun several times but couldn't do it. It was against Shannon's beliefs." Gibbs was lost in thoughts and memories of his wife and daughter.

"What happened to you after that? You obviously moved on." Deeks asked softly bringing Gibbs out of his reverie.

"Mike Franks happened. He took me under his wing and had me join NCIS. He helped me move on. He knew that I was the one who killed Pedro Hernandez but shut that skeleton in a very tight closet. The case remained unsolved for nearly twenty years. Two years ago, I am not sure how but the children of Pedro Hernandez made the connection and tried to exact revenge. They've killed some and tortured some more of my friends but my team took them down, hard. You may have read about the take down of Paloma Reynosa and Alejandro Rivera." Gibbs turned to face Deeks.

Deeks nodded. It is clear that he isn't the only one who has unsanctioned kills on his conscience.

"There you have it. As you said, I am said to be the best NCIS Agent in the country and I have my skeletons. Deeks, you wouldn't be any different. I am proud of what you've done because I failed to the same fourteen years ago and my partner paid the price for it. I lost the only person I loved as much as I loved Shannon." Gibbs stated trying to keep the tears, pain, anger and most of all guilt at bay.


	24. Chapter 24

"What happened?" Deeks was genuinely curious and at the same time, he was worried about Gibbs. The toll the confession is taking on his being is clearly visible. From what he had read about the Senior Agent from DC, he had seen enough death in his life to know that life is exactly a bed of roses. You need to get through the thorns to be able to enjoy the softness of the roses. But the pain in Gibbs's face reflects that he has been through more than his fair share of thorns with no prize in sight yet._ What is it they say? 'You sleep when you die'. _Deeks thought wistfully.

Deeks himself had been through enough thorns in his life. First at the hands of his Father, who taught him about the cruel world out there with his fists, kicks, and belts; rejection from his mother, which taught him that people who love you will leave if they think that you would be better off without them; his life in foster homes taught him that people will take care of you only if they have a benefit; his career in Public Defenders' office taught him that most Cops just want someone indicted, they're not concerned about justice…just the number of cases they have closed; and during his career as a Cop both as an Uniformed Officer and as an Undercover Detective, he has seen the worst the human race has to offer.

When he joined NCIS, he thought, he was about to get his roses but fate had other thoughts. He had to fight through the rejection and contempt from his colleagues early on and finally when they accepted him into their fold, his Bosses at LAPD had other thoughts. LAPD had used him for undercover ops which weren't crossing jurisdictions with NCIS. Hetty and Granger have urged him to leave LAPD and join NCIS but he couldn't come to terms with not being a Cop anymore. When the Perez Cartel case bombed, all he wanted was to leave LAPD for good but he couldn't leave before he figured out who pulled the strings to fail the case.

Bates never gave him a chance to explain the evidence and neither did he look at the evidence he had kept at NCIS office for the fear of his cover getting blown by someone from the Perez Cartel. He worked hard to bring down the Cartel and the Cops on cartel's payroll and when they attacked Kensi, he had taken out the Cartel. For all he knows, Bates is working hard to pin everything on him. Deeks sighed. _I hope one day I get my prize._

Gibbs stared at Deeks as Deeks was lost in thought. He is definitely the younger version of DiNozzo, the version Gibbs took under his wing. When Wendy rejected the proposal, DiNozzo pushed himself hard into the cases he worked and picked up women randomly. Deeks is yet to propose to Kensi. Gibbs knows that the younger agents haven't acted on their feelings yet but when they do, he knows the relationship would be forever.

Kensi's ambitions are not strong enough to beat her love for Deeks into a dark corner of her heart. Deeks is not obsessed with work to ignore the one he loves. _If only I showed her how much I cared._ Gibbs thought as images Jenny and himself in Paris assaulted his brain. Gibbs sighed and shook his head to clear his thoughts. The noise brought Deeks out of his reverie.

"You were saying?" Deeks prompted.

"After Mike Franks retired, I had a string of partners…no one could keep up with me except one woman…Jenny Shepard." Gibbs started.

"Jenny Shepard? …As in deceased NCIS Director Jennifer Shepard?" Deeks asked suspiciously.

"One and the same." Gibbs replied with a sad smile. "We were sent to Paris, undercover as lovers to take down a Russian Couple; an arms dealer and his fiancée. Our handler asked me to take out the man and Jenny was assigned to kill the woman. I took out my target but Jenny couldn't. I knew about it and covered for her. I wish I didn't."

"Why did you cover for her?" Deeks asked.

"We fell in love and I couldn't bring myself to be separated from her. I knew that if I took the woman out, it would show that Jenny didn't do her job and I would have to let her go. Our handler knew that the fiancée was still out there but he agreed to cover it all up. We expected the fiancée to move on and forget what happened."

"But she didn't…" Deeks interrupted.

"No, she didn't. She came after Jenny and me ten years later. When Jenny was in LA for the funeral of our handler from that assignment, the fiancée came down hard and killed Jenny in a diner outside LA." Gibbs resumed.

"Wait a minute. I remember reading that The Director was killed in a fire accident in DC." Deeks furrowed his brows.

"That was my handiwork. I couldn't let her go down in history as a failure. I took out the fiancée and burned her body in the home-fire at Jenny's residence. I covered up everything with some help." Gibbs replied. He sighed and continued, "To this day, I mourn her. I am the guilty one. If only I dared enough to go after the fiancée and her organization fourteen years ago, I would've kept Jenny safe but I didn't. That is why I'm proud of what you did. I don't condone it as an NCIS Agent but as someone who lost love due to his own inaction, I appreciate what you did to keep the one you love safe."

"So, what you're telling me is that I should be proud of what I've done and let it go?" Deeks asked in a confused tone.

"No, I'm not telling you how to lead your life. All I'm saying is don't lose the small blessings. You love Kensi and she loves you. Take the leap. I know that having what you have on your conscience is not going to let up easily. Learn to live with what you've done. Use it to guide you further in life as a LEO. Trust me, as long as you're in Law Enforcement, you'll rake in a lot of skeletons. Learn to lock them up in closets and live your life." Gibbs replied.

"What if I'm not able to live with what I've done?" Deeks asked in a pained voice.

"That's what you've got friends for. Learn to live with your pain and when it becomes too much, you should lean on people who are ready to shoulder your burden and from what I've learnt, you've got pretty impressive sets of shoulders waiting for you to let them help you. And if you think you cannot burden them, you can always come to me." Gibbs answered his questions.

"You know, for a functional mute, you talk a lot." Deeks commented, trying to take it all in.

"Well, very few people gave me a reason to talk. I'm glad you're one of them." Gibbs replied with a smile of his own.


	25. Chapter 25

Kensi returned exactly an hour after she left. She was surprised to find Deeks smiling and making small talk with Gibbs and felt jealous of Gibbs for being the one who put a smile on Marty's face.

"Now that she's here, I'll take a leave. I've got to harass Hetty about approving my coffee expenses. Remember what we talked about Marty." Gibbs commented as he left the room.

"What have you talked about?" Kensi asked suspiciously.

"Everything and nothing, Kens." Deeks replied.

"C'mon Deeks. Are you holding out on me?" Kensi asked.

"I'm not going to talk about what he spoke to me in confidence but he gave me good advice on how to move on from here." Deeks sighed. He hated holding secrets from Kensi but he is not about to betray the trust Gibbs has in him.

"May I ask what it was?" Kensi asked.

She just wants to keep him talking. Who ever said that a little distance makes hearts grow fonder was right. Over the past two weeks or so, both Kensi and Deeks missed each other's company and it made them ask for more. While Kensi and Deeks have been in the same room for the past few days, it wasn't what it used to be. Deeks, consumed by guilt wasn't in his same rambling element as he was in the past and Kensi, consumed by guilt of her own was thinking of ways to get her partner to talk and wasn't being herself either.

Whatever Gibbs has told Deeks seems to be working since there is glimmer of Marty's former self started shining through, giving Kensi the hope that her partner would be back with her. Kensi felt that the advice could be about their thing. As much as she wants to confess her feelings for her partner and fall into his arms, she isn't ready to rush things and lose his company and decided to wait.

Callen arrived at Marty's room to check upon him. He had come over a few times but every time he's come to visit, Deeks was either sleeping or having a deep conversation with someone or the other just like the one he's having now. Deciding to wait till the conversation is over, Callen stood by the door, inadvertently listening in on the conversation.

"Are you asking me what advice he's given me?" Deeks asked. Kensi nodded her head. Deeks sighed and said, "That I shouldn't lose small blessings in my life."

"Hmmm…Hetty gave me a similar advice a few years ago before she went all 'lone wolf' on us." Kensi replied.

"Have you taken it?" Deeks asked.

"I don't know. You're the one constantly observing me. You should be able to tell if I have taken it or not." Kensi commented.

"Well, seeing that you've started opening up to your team more than you've done in the past, I have to say you have taken the advice." Deeks replied.

"Not even close, Deeks. I haven't completely taken up on the advice." Kensi said. Both Kensi and Deeks remained in companionable silence for a few minutes.

"Hey, I forgot to ask you. If you're being here with me all day, what's your boyfriend doing? I mean wouldn't he be jealous or something?" Deeks wiggled his eyebrows at Kensi.

Kensi sighed. _Here it comes, the most annoying version of my partner. God!_ "Deeks, I told you Jamie isn't my boyfriend. I went for a dinner with him only because it was what he wanted in return for saving my life."

"I never got a dinner from you for doing something like that ever." Deeks stated.

"As my Partner, it's your job to keep me safe." Kensi shot back.

"Some performance…huh." Deeks went from being cheery to sad within seconds. Sighing, Kensi held Deeks face within both her hands.

"Listen, what happened was not your fault. It will take time to sink in. Okay. I am not prepared to have another Partner. So, your job now is to get better and come back to us. Do you understand?" Kensi said looking straight into Marty's eyes. Deeks and Kensi looked deeply into each other's eyes for few seconds before he nodded in the affirmative.

Exhaling a breath she didn't know she was holding, Kensi asked Deeks, "Why haven't you taken the job offer from Hetty?"

"You know about that?" Deeks looked at Kensi with equal parts guilt and embarrassment in his eyes.

"Hetty told us when you were in surgery. It came up when we were thinking of ways to prevent LAPD from stealing you away from us for undercover missions." Kensi replied.

"I'm not sure I am ready yet, Kens. I mean, just over a year ago, I was shot to get to you and now you were attacked to get to me…" Deeks trailed off.

"And both the times, it wasn't your fault Deeks. The attacks come with the territory. You and I, both work for a Federal Agency. Agreed that the titles vary but we do the same work. We're bound to have enemies across the map of LA. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if we have enemies across the globe. If it wasn't the Perez Cartel, it could be some Terrorist Organization like the one Vaqar belonged to or a Russian Sleeper cell or Venezuelan War Lord would target us. But each time any such danger came upon me, I had my partner keeping me safe." Kensi tried to save him from the guilt.

"But I have failed you guys." Deeks tried to reason. Callen had enough of the self-incrimination and torture Deeks was putting himself through.

"Give me one instance when you've failed us." Callen demanded as he walked in, his eyes telling Kensi to leave and hers challenging him.

"I was shot to get to Kensi because I didn't change my routine." Deeks argued.

"And you learnt from that experience to stay more anonymous." Callen argued back.

"Kensi was attacked because of my sloppiness." Deeks almost shouted.

"I have seen their surveillance photos, Deeks. Kensi had more training than you did. She didn't spot them and she alters her routes, timings and everything but still they got to her. So, I am guessing it's safe to say that Kensi is the reason you're always in danger." Callen knew his words would hurt Kensi but if Deeks has to be brought out, the harsh truths have to be spoken by someone.

"How dare you say that? " Deeks barked.

"Come to think about it, it's true Deeks. I mean the first time you were in hospital, they couldn't find Kensi and attacked you to get to her. This time, a dirty cop led them to Kensi because he couldn't find you. And both the times, you eliminated the threat. Come to think of it, you're a damn fine Undercover Operative." Callen smirked at Deeks as the younger man looked stunned.

"Both the times she was in danger because she's my Partner." Deeks spoke in a crestfallen voice.

"So, what you're saying is its Hetty's fault. She's the one who partnered you both." Callen hit back even harder.

When Deeks didn't reply for a few minutes, Callen started again as he placed his hand on the younger man's shoulder, "Every scenario has different points of view Deeks. You've looked at only one angle that leads all the blame back to you. You haven't considered the other side, the side that shows our shortfalls. You've fought through the shortfalls every time to keep your Partner safe and I'm proud of you for that. It's because of you that she is safe and the bad guys are dead. Just concentrate on the present and get better."

Callen waited for Deeks to take it all in and finally when the younger man nodded, Callen squeezed his shoulder in support and left.


	26. Chapter 26

**Author's Note:**

Hi folks,

First, let me apologize for not updating for a long time. I've tried coming to terms with my life as it was about a month ago and couldn't. It was too mechanical. Wake up, going to work, sleep. My only solitude had been my writing. When I started lose my grip on my life and everyone else started controlling it like my boss at work, my parents, siblings, everyone but me, I have given up my job and went on a tour to find myself. Here I am back to do what I do best. Enjoy the next chapter.

Thanks for your support.

* * *

Kensi waited for Callen to leave. Callen has voiced her own thoughts, thoughts Amanda interrupted a few days ago. _Am I the reason my Partner always gets hurt?_ Kensi questioned herself. Even though the current focus is on Deeks, she remembered her conversation with the Team a few days ago. All she could remember was that Jack left after she started waiting on his hand and foot, practically making him feel invalid.

_May be I am the poison in my relationships. I chased Jack away by making him feel useless and now I am the reason Deeks is in the hospital bed._ Kensi thought. She walked to the window under the pretext of watching the view outside but in reality, to hide her tears from her Partner.

Deeks took in the tense set of her shoulders and the slight tremor running through her was enough to understand the emotional turmoil Kensi is going through. As he thought about Callen's point of view, he's sure it's neither Kensi's nor his own fault that he ended up in the hospital. The sole responsibility of putting him in the hospital lies at the feet of Detective Driscoll, The Perez Cartel, and himself. He blames himself for being so damned reckless but Callen's words seem to have cut Kensi deep. Deeks realized that this isn't the time for more self-incrimination. Kensi needs him, now more than ever.

Kensi heard Deeks calling her name and wasn't sure she could look into his eyes, not after Callen voiced her innermost fears. "Kensi, look at me." Deeks pleaded this time. Kensi quickly wiped away the tears from her face and turned around to face him.

"Deeks." Kensi muttered trying to cover up the hurt she was feeling but her voice gave it away.

"Kensi, it wasn't your fault." Deeks replied softly.

"How can you say that? You've been shot to get to me the first time and the second time you're shot for trying to avenge my injuries…" Kensi was beginning to rant and would've continued if it isn't for the appearance of a patient look on Marty's face.

"I'm sorry, I'm rambling." Kensi muttered.

"Usually, I'm the one doing the rambling." Deeks retorted. Kensi couldn't bring herself to glare at him or even just roll her eyes at him. When he didn't get the desired response from her, Deeks sighed. He knew it would be hard to admit what he is about to say but it's the truth and Kensi needs to hear it from him. She needs to realize that he may act the goofball but is deadly serious when someone he cares about is in danger.

"Kensi, I'd do everything I had done in a heartbeat if it means you're safe. I care about you too much to risk anything that could be a threat to you." Deeks said, trying to ease some of the guilt from Kensi's shoulders.

"But, I'm supposed to be the better trained one. I'm supposed to be the one that comes to your rescue, not the other way around." Kensi tried to argue back.

Deeks stretched his good hand inviting Kensi into a hug. _Damn you, Deeks! You changed me._ Kensi cursed inwardly as she made her way to her partner. Placing her hands around her partner, she embraced the vulnerable side in her to take comfort in the fact that there is one person who is always ready to give her a break from the harsh realities of life.

Deeks stroked her back with his good hand and let her lay her head on his shoulder. The simple comforting gesture was enough to confirm what he means to her and how close she had come to lose him and the dam broke. Deeks felt Kensi stiffen as her tears made their presence known on his shoulder. He knew that if he doesn't do anything now, she would pull herself back again and would hide behind the strong façade she had maintained for a very long time.

Deeks simply tightened the grip, turned his head and placed a simple kiss to her temple. That was enough to push Kensi over the edge and silent tears led the way to sobs of pain and hurt. Not letting her get away, Deeks managed to tuck her head under his chin and simply rubbed soft soothing circles on her back, letting her cry her anguish off. After a few minutes, Kensi regained her composure but wasn't willing to give up the comfort of her partner's hug.

In those moments she truly realized what Deeks means to her. She wasn't lying to Nate or her Mother when she said that Deeks is everything she needs but now she realized that he is more than that. Somehow with his cocky attitude, cheerful outlook of life and simply by being him, Deeks changed her for better. Even though he kept selling a façade that he's a very vulnerable person to everyone that tried to look close, this one case proved how tough and strong he really is. Kensi realized that her Mother wasn't exaggerating when she said that adding a lot more humor to the strong image of her father she had, she would get Deeks.

They remained in the same position till Nate and Sam arrived almost an hour later. "Isn't this just cosy?" Sam quipped as he saw both the partners in an embrace.

Kensi clambered to her feet and rushed to the bathroom, primarily to hide her tear tracks from the others. After what happened over the past two weeks, she is ready to remain emotionally vulnerable in the presence of Deeks and to an extent her Mother but others are not granted those privileges yet.

Nate cocked his eyebrow at Deeks questioningly. Deeks simply shrugged his good shoulder and smiled. That was enough for Nate to know that Kensi has finally found her safe haven she so desperately needed all these years. Before Sam could pass another quip about inappropriate behavior in hospitals, Nate placed a firm hand on the ex-SEAL's shoulder to stop him. Sam turned his face to meet Nate's unflinching and uncompromising gaze. Getting the unexplained point, Sam wisely kept his mouth shut about what he had just witnessed.

Kensi spent a good five minutes scrubbing her face of any remnants of tear tracks and entered the room to find both Nate and Sam seated in the uncomfortable hospital chairs in the room, making small talk.

"What brings you folks here?" Deeks asked.

"We're here to visit you. You're our friend too, remember." Sam retorted.

"I know that, Sam but I can also sense that something else is at play here because you're not talking about work." Deeks replied surprising Sam that he picked on the cue that Sam had skirted the questions about work and is willing to talk about his family if it meant Deeks would stop talking about work.

"Bates has turned the IA inquiry around and handed over the case jurisdiction to us. Driscoll is his fall guy now." Nate explained.

"Our sources within LAPD confirm that your credibility within the department has gone up but no one wants you there." Sam added.

"Nothing new there. No one ever wanted me in LAPD particularly after butting heads with some of the Detectives as a public defender." Deeks replied.

"No, Deeks, they don't want you there for your safety. Right now, Bates has lost his credibility and his political capital with this case and is trying to retain you to build his political capital again. A lot of detectives don't want to investigate your murder anytime soon and they are convinced that Bates would use you for another high profile undercover operation as soon as he gets a chance." Sam explained.

"Now that the case is closed and is air tight and that Bates is trying to get an opportunity to meet you, Hetty has cleared LAPD to visit and Bates will be here before anyone else to keep you on the force." Nate added.

"Why did Hetty permit Bates to meet Deeks?" Kensi asked angrily.

"So that he will meet Mr Deeks on our terms." Hetty made her grand appearance.

Deeks seemed to be in deep thought as he weighed his options. He was shaken out of his thoughts by Hetty's voice.

"You were right when you said that we didn't need a Liaison Officer, Mr Deeks. What I was looking for was an Agent who can take the rigors of being undercover 24*7. But knowing you well enough, I knew that you wouldn't take my job offer immediately. That was why a Liaison Officer role was created especially for you. But after what transpired on your undercover operations for LAPD, I am not ready to lose one of the best Agents I had the opportunity to work with. So, I come here again with a job offer." Hetty produced a manila folder that contained the NCIS application and required clearance forms to recruit him into OSP directly after training.

"After everything, do you still think I am the right fit, Hetty?" Deeks asked as self-doubt clouded his voice, his head seemingly hung in shame.

"Marty" Hetty's voice had raw emotion that shocked everyone in that room.

"Hetty" Deeks raised his head to look at Hetty.

"There has never been a moment since I've met you that made me doubt my decision to include you in the team. I know that you would do everything that is necessary to bring your team home safe and that's exactly what you've done over the past few weeks. As far as I am concerned, you would always be the best Detective I've met and I am not passing up on the opportunity to make you the best Agent I know you can be. But as I promised earlier, I will leave the decision to you." Hetty replied to the question with such conviction that left almost no doubt in Marty's mind.

"Can I make the decision after my meeting with Bates?" Deeks asked.

"Certainly, Mr Deeks but remember when I said Bates will meet you on our terms, I meant it. He will meet you in this very hospital room but in the presence of your entire team and I don't want to hear it." Hetty cut off the objection even before Deeks could voice it.

"Bates needs to know that we would always fight in your corner." Kensi stated firmly effectively cutting off any further objections Deeks could have.


	27. Chapter 27

"Before you meet Bates, you need to be made aware of some facts, Mr Deeks." Hetty stated, attracting Marty's attention.

"I'm listening." Marty replied as he looked directly into Hetty's eyes.

Taking a deep breath, Hetty started speaking.

"Detective Driscoll had been a part of the operation from the beginning. Every report and piece of evidence you've sent Lieutenant Bates was forwarded to Detective Driscoll for filing and building the case. Lieutenant Bates never even opened the reports…"

Hetty was interrupted by Marty's question, "Are you telling me that Detective Driscoll had the chance to sell me out earlier but never did till I continued to dig deep into his life?"

_Trust Deeks to see the good even in the worst situations._ Kensi thought as she rolled her eyes and spoke, "Yes, Deeks. Driscoll had the opportunity to sell you out when you were undercover and then when you uncovered information on him, he revealed to the cartel that you were the undercover he was providing information about."

"No, he provided the information about me after the operation, when I didn't stop investigating him and the cartel." Deeks shot back.

"I'm sorry, can you elaborate on that?" Hetty questioned.

"We've all come to know that Albert Driscoll is on the take but what if he was coerced or blackmailed into it? What if he tried to save me? He had all the details about me but I was never attacked and my cover was never blown when I was working the case." Deeks explained his doubts.

"That is an interesting theory Mr Deeks. Perhaps, it would help if we could question Detective Driscoll once again." Hetty looked at Sam as her way of ordering them to take up that activity. Sam nodded and walked out of the room pulling his cell phone to put in a call to Ops.

"Let's get back to our original discussion. You said that Bates never even opened the report?" Deeks questioned.

"We think so. Because, he wasn't aware of the evidence left at NCIS and since the transfer of evidence has to be seamless, we tried reaching him several times at the precinct and we were told by everyone including the Chief of Police that there was no Undercover Operation involving you. As per the LAPD records, you were delivering your duties and responsibilities as NCIS LAPD Liaison." Kensi explained.

"I was still working as NCIS LAPD Liaison." Deeks gave them all an incredulous look.

"I know which is why Mr Bates needs to know that your home is NCIS." Hetty responded.

"So when is this meeting?" Deeks asked.

"Whenever you are ready to talk to Mr Bates. When I gave him permission to meet you, I made it clear that he could meet you only if you are willing to meet him. So let me know when you want to meet him." Hetty replied.

"How about after we know all the facts about Detective Driscoll?" Deeks questioned.

"A fine choice Mr Deeks." Hetty said as she turned to face Sam who just entered the room.

"Amanda and Gregory are on their way to speak to Driscoll. They will get back to us as soon as they can." Sam informed the people gathered in the room.

"Amanda and Gregory? Why is Amanda's Team involved in this case?" Deeks questioned.

"When we found that Felipe Perez is out there, we had to arrange protection detail. Sam and Callen were assigned for protection and I assigned Ms Johnston's Team for the investigation." Hetty explained.

"And they were happy to help your cause." Kensi added and when Deeks looked at her questioningly, Kensi explained Amanda and Gregory's visit to the hospital.

"You know I never had a Team Leader walk up to me and demand a LAPD Liaison Officer to be assigned to their Team before you came in. When Ms Johnston learnt about you joining NCIS as Liaison, she demanded that you should be assigned to her team. It was also the first time a LAPD Detective was restrained by my Agents demanding him to join their Team." Hetty smiled.

"You know about that? Of course, you do." Deeks smiled as he remembered how Amanda and Gregory hauled him into the gym and thrust the job offer into his face.

"Get some rest, Marty. Once we hear from Amanda and Gregory, we'll decide on the meeting." Hetty told him and silently ordered everyone to leave the room.

"Hetty?" Marty's voice stopped the older woman in her tracks as she turned around to look at him questioningly.

"Is it possible for Driscoll to visit me here?" Deeks asked.

Hetty regarded Deeks for a long moment before nodding and replying, "I'll see what I can do."

Albert Driscoll made bail and is currently holed up in a motel, awaiting his prosecution. As per procedure, his new address is listed with NCIS and LAPD. When things started going downhill, he withdrew a lot of cash, got fake documents and sent his wife and daughter away, far from LA, far from Drug Cartels, far from anything that could link them to him.

As he remembered the fateful day that turned his honest life upside down seven years ago, when his eight year old daughter hasn't returned home from school at the usual time, when his wife didn't return from the supermarket in the afternoon, Albert Driscoll shivered. During the first year, he rejected any payment for the favors he was doing for Fernando Perez but as he realized what would happen to him when the façade he's keeping with the department comes crashing down, he started amassing wealth to make sure his family will be able live in comfort after his incarceration.

Albert Driscoll was shaken out of his thoughts with a knock on his door. He opened the door partly to face Amanda and Gregory. Sighing deeply, he opened the door completely, inviting the pair inside.

"How can I help NCIS?" Driscoll asked in what could only be explained as a resigned voice.

"As much as I would love to put a bullet in you right now, Deeks wants to talk to you." Gregory replied in a voice filled with rage.

By the time the NCIS Agents and the disgraced Detective arrived at the Hospital, Deeks was in deep sleep. Albert refused to leave the Hospital and sat in the room with Kensi watching the hero of his life, the hero who ended his nightmare. Kensi sensed that something was bothering Albert allowed him to sit with Marty and convinced both Amanda and Gregory that it would be fine. They sat in silence for over an hour before Driscoll spoke.

"I thought I would never get a chance to thank him." Those were the first words Kensi heard from Albert.

"I am sorry." Kensi said.

"I wish I was as strong as he is when they came after my family. I wasn't and it left me alone and disgraced." Albert muttered as he lifted his gaze from Marty to look at Kensi. The steely hard gaze unnerved him but he had already accepted his fate of being a pariah and continued to look at her dispassionately.

"I am sorry I had the cartel attack you. It was the only way I could think of to keep Marty from continuing the investigation, the only way I could keep my family safe from those monsters." Albert's voice cracked as he confided the true reason for having the cartel attack Kensi. Kensi saw the true remorse in Albert Driscoll's eyes and relaxed a bit.

"Why haven't you revealed Deeks when he was undercover?" Kensi asked.

"The only reason I even worked on the dark side was to keep my family safe. When I went after the Perez Cartel seven years ago, they kidnapped my family. The only way I could keep them safe was to work for Fernando Perez as his inside man in LAPD. For the first year, I didn't take anything from them. But when I realized that I could be caught someday, I started taking monetary favors to set my wife and daughter for life for when I get caught." Driscoll swiped at the tears that formed.

"Several times in the past seven years, I had tried to run away from all of it but only the concern for my family didn't let me. I was living in a world of what ifs…what if the next knock on my door is from IA, or Fernando Perez looking for his pound of flesh for some of the drug busts I covertly managed. Having something to lose always holds you back but the fear of losing something permanently is what fueled Marty to take that revenge. I wish I did it seven years ago." Driscoll sighed deeply.

"I was never ready to sell out a fellow Cop. I would rather be shot before I did something like that. I didn't know you're a Federal Agent. I just hoped attacking you would stop Deeks from digging deeper and let me continue my façade, the only way I could extend my time with my wife and daughter." Albert said as he averted her gaze to continue looking at Marty Deeks. Kensi noticed the tears making their way away from Driscoll's eyes and the look of awe and admiration as he looked at Deeks and instinctively knew that Albert Driscoll had given up hope on getting out of Perez Cartel's grip.

Deeks woke up a little while later. The first thing he noticed as he opened his eyes was Kensi's presence as usual since he had been hospitalized except for the one time when he woke up to Gibbs. The second thing he noticed was that her eyes were not on him but on someone else sitting on the other side of the bed and he shifted his gaze to look at Albert Driscoll.

"Driscoll." Deeks muttered pulling Kensi off her thoughts. Kensi shifted her gaze from Driscoll to her partner who is trying to move into a sitting position. As she shifted her gaze back to Driscoll, she could see the wish to help his hero and the apprehension of what would be Marty's reaction.

"Deeks." Kensi muttered as she helped her partner into a sitting position.

"Marty." Driscoll muttered as he squirmed under the younger man's gaze. Neither Deeks nor Driscoll were sure how to breach the subject. Sighing deeply, Kensi started to speak.

"So, where's your family now?" Kensi asked not unkindly.

"Far away from here. Far away from drug cartels, dirty cops, or anything that can link them to me." Driscoll answered but his gaze was still locked on to Deeks.

"Is that why you worked for the dark side?" Deeks questioned as his soul piercing eyes continued to be focused on the older man in front of him.

Driscoll sighed and looked away for a minute before looking back at his savior and replying, "Yes."

"Any idea when would you be able to see them again?" Deeks asked.

"No. I don't think I will get out alive from the prison for that. I hope I have given them enough to move on and make a life for themselves without me. I don't even know their new names or address." Driscoll answered even though it pained his soul that his family would live without him, he knew it was the only way they can stay safe.

Deeks sighed as he understood what the older man meant. The life expectancy of an ex-cop in prison is very low. Deeks was shaken off his thoughts by Driscoll's voice.

"I am here to offer my thanks for everything and an apology for having your partner attacked." Driscoll muttered and left. Both Kensi and Deeks kept looking at the door as he left.


	28. Chapter 28

Bates, knowing Marty's sense of justice, righteousness, and guilt wanted to play on the same and turn it into his weakness to make him stay on LAPD payroll. Both Granger and Hetty blackmailed him into accepting the Detective's resignation but if Deeks doesn't turn in his resignation, he would be in the safe. Even though Bates knows that all his skeletons are tightly locked up, he is also aware that his closets cannot withstand the pressure Hetty and Granger can bring down on them. Most of his skeletons have been to advance his political career which thanks to his blind trust in Albert Driscoll has gone bleak. The only way he can salvage some of it is if he can keep his best undercover detective, Marty Deeks in the department.

Bates expected Deeks to be alone when he arrived to speak to the younger man but he was met with stony faced Hetty, physically intimidating Sam, keenly observing Nate, and a fierce Kensi. Swallowing hard, he entered the room. He tried to start with small talk.

"How are you doing now, Deeks?" Bates asked.

"Better." Marty's voice was clipped.

"I was hoping to talk to you." Bates said eyeing everyone in the room.

"You can talk to me." Deeks responded to the point. The discomfort Bates was feeling was heightened with the closed-mouth behavior from the Detective.

"I was hoping we could do it alone." Bates brought forth his wish.

"You mean you want to talk to me in the absence of my friends." Deeks gestured to the NCIS people surrounding them. Bates gulped before nodding his head in the affirmative.

Deeks was conflicted in his emotions and thoughts. He needs to do this by himself but at the same time he cannot push away his friends who have stood by him when he needed them the most. He made eye contact with his friends' one at a time. Nate's eyes held understanding while Sam's eyes held trust. Hetty broke her glare towards Bates to meet Marty's gaze and her eyes held respect for him. When he met Kensi's eyes, he was stunned at the love and desperation her eyes held. There was no way he could ask her to leave the room.

Just as Deeks was mulling over his decision, Callen and Gibbs walked in. As soon as he took in the tense atmosphere, Gibbs instinctively knew that the new person in the room is Lieutenant Bates. The knowledge was enough to make his blood boil. This man is the reason his friend Callen went through an emotional roller coaster and doubted his abilities as the Team Leader, his new confidant Marty Deeks went through hell to bring a drug cartel down. But seeing that Hetty has reigned in her anger, he knew he has to bide his time.

"Hi, I'm Special Agent Jethro Gibbs, NCIS Head Quarters." Gibbs introduced himself to Bates and offered a handshake. Everyone looked at Gibbs with some degree of surprise. Both Hetty and Callen smiled internally at the obvious intimidation. By announcing himself and his workplace, Gibbs made sure that Bates knew that NCIS HQ is backing Deeks.

Bates looked at Deeks with a raised eyebrow before taking the pro-offered hand and introducing himself, "Lieutenant Roger Bates, LAPD. I'm Deeks's Boss."

"I've heard about you." Gibbs tightened his grip on Bates's hand. More than the grip on his hand, it was Gibbs's piercing blue eyes that disturbed Bates. Gibbs was blatantly assessing the LAPD Lieutenant.

"All good I hope." Bates tried to smile but it came more as a grimace.

"I don't assume anything from what I hear. I like to double-check." Gibbs replied as he shook Roger's hand one last time and released it.

"Are you in LA for a case?" Bates asked conversationally, even though he is irritated by the intrusion from this new character, he was still confident about retaining Deeks.

Making sure that he's holding Marty's gaze, Gibbs replied, "No, I'm here to aid Hetty. I have some experience in hiring Detectives from Local PDs." Deeks held Gibbs gaze throughout his reply to Bates and Gibbs wondered if he crossed a line when there was a hint of rebellion in Marty's eyes. Roger's confidence waned with Gibbs's announcement.

"So you decided to leave LAPD?" Bates turned to look at Deeks with accusation in his glare. Deeks held the Lieutenant's gaze for a long time before responding.

"Before I can make a decision, I have a few questions for you and don't even try to dodge the questions with lies." The fierceness in Marty's voice frightened Bates but he didn't show any traces of fear on his face. He didn't become a Lieutenant in LAPD by fearing every Detective that uncovered some unsavory facts about him.

"Why was I not informed that Driscoll was a part of the investigation?" Deeks questioned. His voice was still clipped and controlled.

"Who I use and what information I give to my Detectives is solely up to my discretion. I don't have to justify myself to someone like you." Bates replied arrogantly.

"You have the authority to do that but why was he still a part of investigation even after I reported his presence on the Cartel's payroll?" Deeks questioned.

Bates winced internally as he considered the answers. He realized he didn't have one and as he was considering saying something to squirm his way out, his thoughts were interrupted by Marty's voice, "Have you even taken some time out to read through the undercover reports I was sending you?" Bates didn't have an answer to that either.

"I was out there working 24*7. During the day I had to work as NCIS LAPD Liaison Officer to make sure that no one in LAPD would know about the undercover operation. During the nights I was masquerading as a muscle for hire and a drug dealer on Perez Cartel's payroll. I never even complained about what I was going through and you didn't even have the courtesy to listen to what I had to say before your shut down the investigation." Marty's voice was gaining decibels and he tried hard to reign in his anger. "Are you even aware that Albert Driscoll was helping Perez Cartel under duress? His family was threatened when he went after the Perez Cartel seven years ago and since then every operation against the Perez Cartel failed. Have you considered that track record before you brought him into the picture?"

Bates had the sense to look contrite as everyone in the room digested what Marty confessed. Deeks held his hand out towards Kensi and Kensi handed him the NCIS Application file. Kensi placed her hand on her partner's shoulder and squeezed in support as Gibbs met Marty's eyes with pride. Deeks sighed and took a few deep breaths to control his anger. Bates was surprised at the outburst. The normally laid back cop had a lot of pent up anger and frustration that Bates didn't account for when he thought he could keep him on the force. But now it is clear that he's lost the battle.

"Since the day I began undercover work for you, I have pissed off several Detectives, Detectives under your command and you've never done anything to dispel their notions about me. You let it got so far that no one on LAPD payroll is ready to be my back-up. Do you honestly believe that I should stay on LAPD payroll where the possibility of me getting killed in a friendly fire is a lot higher than being killed by a bullet from the other side?" Marty's voice held acceptance, a clear sign that he believed what he just said.

"Here it is Bates. I am signing the NCIS application right in front of you. It's my good-bye to LAPD." Deeks shot a venomous look at Bates and signed the NCIS application.

Bates sighed as he looked at Marty as he signed the papers before muttering something intelligibly and left the room as the NCIS people present in the room crowded Marty to congratulate him.


	29. Chapter 29

**One Hour Later:**

Hetty volunteered to surrender his resignation to the Chief of Police. Even though Deeks protested that he needs to do it himself, Hetty convinced him saying that she has another agenda behind doing that. Nate and Sam left the room for ops to complete the remaining formalities of the case while Callen and Gibbs left after sharing various stories from their past for a little longer. After everyone left except Kensi, it hit Deeks hard that he is no longer a Cop, an identity he associated himself with for over a decade since he stopped being a Public Defender.

Deeks closed his eyes trying to hide the emotions behind his eyelids but his Partner read him quickly. Their time undercover has helped her memorize her Partner's mannerisms and habits down to the breathing pattern. Her stay in the Hospital when he was most vulnerable taught her how to read him. Kensi stepped up the bed and placed her hand on his shoulder. Deeks opened his eyes carefully and tried to school his emotions but failed. As Kensi noticed the tears, she didn't know what to do. Remembering what her Mother and Marty himself did for her, Kensi tucked his head under her chin and held him tightly against her chest, trying to convey to him she's there for him. Deeks wrapped his good arm around her as her actions were his undoing and tears kept flowing. No words were exchanged but both knew how important the other had become in the time they shared a partnership.

As Marty's breathing evened out, Kensi placed a gentle kiss to the top of his head and gently rearranged him on the bed into a lying down position. When she turned around she came face to face with her mother Julia who was leaning against the door frame. The smile on Julia's face told Kensi that she was observing what had happened over the past few minutes. Julia stepped quietly into the room. Kensi was feeling embarrassed at being caught by her mother during a rare display of affection.

"Hi Mom!" Kensi greeted her mother awkwardly, feeling like a teenager caught making out with her boyfriend. It pained her that she never had any of such experiences. Her first boyfriend was after her Father died. Kensi closed her eyes against such harsh memories. Julia stepped up to her daughter, held Kensi's face in her hands and gently placed a kiss on her cheek. Kensi opened her eyes in a surprise. Her mother kissed her for the first time in over sixteen years.

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about, Kensi. I knew this would happen." Julia soothed the embarrassment away. Kensi smiled weakly as she turned to look at her partner.

"You might want to change your top." Julia commented as she walked around the bed to the other side. Kensi looked at her confused. Julia pointed to her upper chest where Marty's tears have left a wet spot. Giving her mom an embarrassed smile, Kensi quickly walked towards the bathroom and changed her top.

"How is he?" Julia asked after a few minutes of companionable silence between the Mother and Daughter pair.

"He resigned from LAPD and joined NCIS as an agent." Kensi replied proudly.

"That's not what I asked, Kensi." Julia said kindly.

"Honestly I don't know. Physically he's doing much better. I'm not so sure how he's doing mentally. He just left a job that had essentially described him for the past decade and that will change everything. Nate thinks he has a mild PTSD but he had only one flashback brought on my gunshots the other day. After his conversation with Special Agent Gibbs of HQ, he seemed to have come to terms with what he had done but he's not himself yet." Kensi replied.

"It will take some time for him to get back to his annoying self. I still remember your Father's tours. Whenever he returned from a deployment, he used to have nightmares for a few weeks and by the time he could come to terms with the war and what he did there, it used to take a few weeks. What your Father used to do in a matter of Months and with adequate back up was achieved with in a couple of weeks by Marty and he is bound to have such reaction. Just don't be judgmental about his fears or make fun of them and keep reminding him that you'll always be there for him. He'll make a full recovery." Julia gave some advice from her personal experience.

"Thanks Mom." Kensi replied from the bottom of her heart. Julia spent an hour with her daughter and left contended that her daughter has finally allowed herself to fall in love again. She didn't know any details about the last time her daughter was in love but it certainly is a good feeling to know that your daughter is in love with a good man. She sighed as she got into her car as she imagined the struggle ahead for her daughter.

**One Day Later:**

Kensi was dozing in the hospital chair when she heard a deep moan. She sighed in her sleepy state and shifted her position in the chair. Then she heard another deep anguish filled moan and woke up startled. She shifted in the chair and trained her eyes on her Partner only to find him thrashing in his sleep. Kensi knew from her previous experience with Jack that she cannot startle Deeks awake. She tried to listen carefully to what her Partner was murmuring in the sleep.

Kensi was startled as her Partner shot up in bed screaming, "KENSI". Kensi was up in a flash placing herself in her Partner's field of vision. As she noticed the unfocused eyes of her Partner, she knew she had to do something to soothe him. Kensi was completely focused on her Partner as she spoke.

"Deeks, I'm right here." Kensi kept her voice carefully steady as she reached out with her hand.

"Kensi?" Marty's voice was low and filled with doubt.

"Yes Partner…I'm right here." Kensi replied.

Hearing his scream from the Nurse's Station, Nurse Teresa paged Dr Hauser and rushed to attend her patient. Seeing the emotional moment unfolding between the partner, she stopped in her tracks at the door.

"But…but…Fernando…he attacked you…" Deeks started stuttering.

"He didn't get to me. You killed him before he could do anything." Kensi soothed her Partner with a white lie. Marty started to get a grasp on reality. Kensi approached her partner with a steady gait as she placed her hands on his shoulders.

"Marty." Kensi spoke. Hearing his given name roll off Kensi's tongue brought Deeks out of the nightmare induced trance.

"Kensi." Deeks muttered.

"I'm right here, Partner." Kensi replied and pulled him into a hug. Deeks stiffened at first at the display of affection from his Partner before wrapping his good arm around her and relaxing into the hug.

Nurse Teresa waited for the arrival of Dr Hauser before announcing their presence to the partners, scrambling them from their positions awkwardly. Dr Hauser gave a reassuring smile to Kensi before checking the vitals of his patients and confirming that everything is alright with him. He gestured Kensi to meet him outside the room.

"Over the past few days we've dosed him with heavy-duty pain killers. He's in an excellent shape. We wouldn't want to mess with his healing by pumping him with more than necessary dosage of painkillers. We've already started to wean him off. He may experience excruciating pain at certain times and from Hetty told me, he'll downplay the pain. Please keep an eye on him and let me know if you think he's in pain." Dr Hauser informed Kensi and left.

Kensi knew that her Partner's antics at hang-nails and paper-cuts were just a ruse to throw everyone off their game. She has already witnessed his pain tolerance first-hand when he came to her rescue from Vaqar. Shaking her head at the memory, she made her way back to her Partner.


	30. Chapter 30

Kensi stood at the foot of the bed to get a look at her partner. In the painkiller induced sleep, he looked peaceful. She knew she wouldn't get any peace unless she is sure that he is safe and will recover completely. The situation has stirred memories she tried hard to suppress but she knew she has to dig deep into those memories and make sure she doesn't make the same mistakes she made with Jack.

The first correction she decided to make was to let Marty set the pace for his recovery. She tried too hard to get Jack back on the saddle. She pushed him to take up more sessions with the Psychologist, open up to her about his experiences in Iraq and waited on his hand and foot. That isn't how she is going to treat Marty. Since Hetty had gotten what she wanted and needed to keep Marty safer, Nate will be the Psychologist treating Deeks and Nate would know what to do when it gets overwhelming.

Deeks, though enjoys the attention, is used to a very active lifestyle which included running, surfing, working out, yoga, and taking care of Monty besides his job as an undercover Detective. There is no way she's gonna let him feel like a glass doll or a weak person. Sighing deeply, Kensi allowed herself to relax. Finally, they have reached a position where her partner wouldn't be called back for any operations by LAPD.

_I can finally have my partner all to myself._ Kensi thought and that thought planted a smile on her face, a genuine smile that told everyone who knew the true her that she was happy. Shaking her head, Kensi eased herself into the chair and held his hand, intertwining her fingers with his. Deeks sighed in his sleep as he turned his face slightly towards her.

**A week Later:**

Deeks was finally discharged from the hospital on the condition that he would have someone with him at all times barring no situation at least till he's able to take care of basic needs by himself. He was scheduled for physical therapy, seven weeks from his discharge, only if Dr Hauser was convinced that Marty's lung has healed. On Dr Hauser's suggestion, Hetty has arranged for a breathing therapist to help heal the punctured lung quicker. Though Deeks wanted to stay at his own apartment, Kensi convinced him with one single glare to stay with her.

Callen and Sam were tasked with getting the required clothing, accessories and everything Deeks might need during the healing process over to Kensi's. While Hetty sat with Deeks for the better part of the previous day, Kensi, armed with the help from Nell, and her mother Julia cleaned her home and set up the bedroom and the bathroom with everything Callen and Sam brought over from Kensi's home. Though it wasn't required for Deeks to have an attendant, Hetty knew that Kensi wouldn't be at peace if Deeks was left alone while she ran the errands.

Hetty used the time to brief Deeks on his physical therapy and what would happen following his release from the hospital. As Kensi and Julia were busy fixing some dinner, Deeks took the time to think back to the conversation he'd had with Hetty.

_"Morning Hetty." Deeks muttered as he eyed his new Boss._

_"Good Morning Mr Deeks." Hetty replied as she closed a foreign language book she was reading for the past few hours since she had relieved Kensi of her 'Attendant' duties for the day._

_"Am I still under protection?" Deeks questioned as he eyed Hetty._

_"Not officially." Hetty replied._

_"Ah! Kensi!" Deeks muttered._

_"Yes, Mr Deeks. Kensi. I know you don't like being babied as much as you like to play up but let her take care of you. She may drive you crazy at times but she needs to take care of you more than you need her taking care of you." Hetty replied with a knowing look._

_"She shouldn't push herself so hard, Hetty." Marty muttered. Hetty gave him a thin smile that said everything she had to say for that comment. _'Like you didn't?'

_"That was different." Deeks tried to justify himself but failed._

_"Just the thought that you could lose someone made you got to extreme lengths to protect her. It pushed Detective Driscoll to the limits and made him work for the dark side. In Kensi's case, I believe it's working towards doing anything she can to help you get better." Hetty commented._

_"Speaking of Driscoll, is there anything we can do for him?" Deeks questioned._

_"I knew you would want something like that which was why I handed over your resignation to the Police Chief himself. I had a word with him, Mr Driscoll, and the DA. I am hoping that Mr Driscoll will come off with a light sentence since he is testifying against some mid-level drug dealers and suppliers that were involved with the Perez Cartel. Before you ask, I have already tracked down his wife and daughter and conveyed them the same thing. Till Mr Driscoll is released from prison, they will live at a place designated by me and after he's released, I shall arrange for Mr Driscoll and his family to have a safe future." Hetty replied._

_"Do you think it's correct to put Mrs Driscoll and their daughter through that again?" Deeks asked as he looked at Hetty._

_"I don't know. For now Mrs Driscoll and their daughter just want him to come home but what would happen after a few years of separation is to be seen." Hetty replied with a sigh. Deeks nodded as he accepted the answer._

_"Since he will be testifying against people with Cartel connections, can't the family be placed in witness protection?" Deeks asked thoughtfully._

_"I've already contacted FBI with the information and the DA has promised that he would think about that option. But it seems that Mr Driscoll is dead set on paying for his mistakes" Hetty replied._

_"So what now?" Deeks asked_

_"Well, you will be discharged tomorrow under the condition that there will be someone with you always. After another six to seven weeks of bed rest, if Dr Hauser is happy with the way your lung has healed, you'll be sent to physical therapy for about three months to regain the lost strength in your arms and legs. Only after being cleared by a Physical Therapist, you'll be sent to NCIS HQ for training. While getting trained you'll be TAD with Agent Gibbs' Team in DC." Hetty replied._

_"Can't I complete the training here?" Deeks questioned._

_"As much as I love to, we have some procedures to follow, Mr Deeks. It's either going back to school at FLETC or being a TAD with a Major Case Response Team at NCIS Head Quarters and Agent Gibbs will be happy to have you on his Team for some time." Hetty replied with a pat to his arm._

_"Do you know about Director Shepard?" Deeks asked thoughtfully._

_"Which part? That she was a failure as an Agent or that she left the love of her life for her thirst for power or the fact that her death was covered up as an accident by Mr Gibbs?" Hetty practically spat the words out._

_Marty's eyes widened at the anger that radiated from Hetty. Observing his reaction, Hetty took a few deep breaths before taking a few sips of water. "I'm sorry Mr Deeks. I hate people who use their power for personal agenda." Deeks nodded and didn't pry into the story since he understood that it wasn't Hetty's story to tell._

_"I need to talk to you about Kensi." Deeks changed the topic._

_"She loves you." Hetty replied simply. Deeks chuckled._

_"What was so funny?" Hetty asked._

_"It's just that you are the second person to tell me that. You know, Kensi and I haven't even had that 'relationship' talk or where we stand with respect to each other." Deeks replied._

_"Ah! I take it, Mr Gibbs beat me to the punch." Hetty muttered._

_"Yeup!" Deeks responded, completely unsurprised that she knew that Gibbs was the first one to point it out._

_"Listen, Marty. I know you too love her and as long as your personal relationship doesn't compromise professional partnership, I have no issues to let you continue being partners. Just keep it out of office." Hetty essentially gave them her blessing._

_"Ah! I almost forgot the most important part. You will have to be cleared by a psychologist before I let you go to DC. You can choose anyone of your choice or I will choose one." Hetty explained._

_"Is that really necessary?" Deeks asked._

_"Have you ever known me to do something that's unnecessary?" Hetty questioned._

_"How about sitting with me right now?" Deeks smirked._

_"This is what I wanted to do for one of the best man I ever had the chance to know." Hetty replied with a sense of pride in her voice leaving Deeks speechless._

_"So, have you decided who it's gonna be?" Hetty questioned again as Deeks was speechless for a few minutes._

_"The only shrinks I've ever met were ones at LAPD, Hetty." Deeks mumbled._

_"That's settled then. Mr Getz will be your psychologist. He would visit you as often as he thinks you're comfortable with. Now I have to worry about finding a temporary partner for Kensi till you complete your training." Hetty replied. Deeks hadn't thought about that._

_As Marty's expression changed at the new way he has failed his partner, Hetty spoke, "You were watching her back, Mr Deeks, just not officially. That doesn't make you a failure. I need you to get better and come back to be her partner. I know for a fact that Sam and Callen wouldn't trust anyone as much as they trusted you to watch her back neither does she. I think either Sam or Callen would become her partner till you return. I just hope that they wouldn't rag him/her or keep comparing him/her to you and make his/her stay uncomfortable."_

_Deeks nodded his head absent-mindedly as if he didn't believe what Hetty was saying. Shaking her head, Hetty cupped Marty's face with her palms and made him look at her directly._

_"I believe what I've just said, Marty. I need you to believe as well." Hetty muttered in a soothing but determined voice. She held Marty's face till he nodded affirmatively._

_"I guess that's my cue to leave." Hetty said and got up from the chair. Just as she opened the door, Kensi was poised to knock the door on the other side. How she knew that Kensi was right there was anyone's guess._

Kensi finished setting the table and returned to the bedroom to take Deeks to the dining table. As she noticed her Partner deep in thought, Kensi leaned against the door frame as she took in the image in front of her. She focused on his face than looking at the injuries below. The eyes looked unfocused but were clear and displayed no signs of a nightmare. His lips were stretched in a smile.

Kensi herself was lost in thought about how the shaggy haired, unshaven, seemingly weak man in front of her became the pillar of her life within a short time. Before he entered her life, her life was filled with physically imposing men and authority figures. Deeks was the first man to show her that there is life outside of her perceptions and then gradually changed her for better. At that moment, as clichéd as it sounded, she knew she would do anything to keep that smile on his face going.

"Kensi." Deeks called her when he noticed her staring at him.

"Uh…" Kensi was startled.

"What's gotten into that pretty little head of yours?" Deeks asked with a curiosity that rivals that of a three year old and a cheeky expression of a teenager.

"I don't know. Everything and nothing I suppose." Kensi replied walking towards him.

"Don't lie…you were thinking about me…in your bed." Deeks commented even more cheekily. Kensi saw through his attempt at returning to a normalcy but he was still dealing with his demons when he sleeps.

"You don't have to do that with me, Marty." Kensi said as she cupped his cheek.

"Do what?" Deeks acted as if he was genuinely confused.

"Act like everything is fine when it's not. I know you, Marty. You never let me get away with it and I'm not gonna let you get away with it either." Kensi replied. Marty's expression fell at the acceptance that he's no longer unreadable. It meant he would fail when he's undercover and the results will be disastrous. He lowered his gaze in shame.

Kensi sighed. She needs to get better at showing empathy. She does it without much of a problem when she's undercover or when she has to show it to the victims' families but when she has to do it with people she cares about, she always fails to be effective. Shaking her head, Kensi used her other hand to get him look at her.

"Listen, Marty. If you teased me like that a month ago, I'm sure I wouldn't have thought about it but I have seen the true Marty Deeks, the Marty Deeks you work so damn hard to hide from the world. For that I am grateful because it made me fall in love with you that much more…" Kensi's eyes widened as she realized what she just said. She had admitted to Marty that she loves him, something she hasn't done to herself.

Though Deeks knew that she loved him, listening to the words coming out of her mouth surprised him. His eyes widened in surprise and Kensi's expression fell. She was engulfed with a feeling of a few tons of disappointment crushing her soul. She felt that Deeks didn't return her feelings and her gaze dropped to her lap to not let him see her tears. Both of them needed a few seconds to recover from what they were feeling and move. As Kensi was removing her hands from his face, Deeks stilled her movements by placing his hand on hers that was covering his right cheek.

"I know you love me." His words weren't teasing but were honest. His tone made Kensi look into his eyes. Deeks was lost for words and pressed her hand into his cheek. His action conveyed more than his words. He wants her to love him.

"Deeks…" Kensi was searching for words herself.

"What? Not Marty anymore." Deeks pouted this time and Kensi chuckled breaking the tension that had built up around them in just a few minutes.

"As much as I hate to break your moment, I'm sure we are all hungry." Julia made an entrance pushing a trolley table Kensi had bought for Marty's rehabilitation. The table was set with three plates of food. When Kensi looked at here with a question mark on her face, Julia continued, "When you haven't come back with Marty, I knew we'll be having our dinner here."

"Oh God! This reminds me. Monty was supposed to be picked up a week ago from that Doggie Spa." Deeks widened his eyes in horror as he imagined the deep hole it would burn in his pocket.

"Relax. Hetty had that covered. She has taken Monty in. Once you're up and walking, I'll get Monty back." Kensi reassured him.

"Great! Now I have to learn to make foreign delicacies for him." Deeks placed his good hand on his head.

"Don't worry. You're getting a bump in pay. NCIS Agents get paid more than LAPD Detectives and OSP Agents also get extra pay to facilitate anonymity." Kensi patted his arm.

After dinner and small talk, Julia wished Marty to get well soon and left for the night. Kensi settled herself in a chair parked next to the bed and turned on the television arranged specifically for Marty's stay.

"Kensi!" Deeks voice was serious.

"Deeks!" Kensi responded as nonchalantly as she could.

"Did you mean what you said earlier?" The question startled Kensi. He knows her better than anyone and if he asked her if she mean what she said, it implies that he doesn't trust himself.

Knowing that she needs to get him back to normal, Kensi replied cheekily. "Haven't you checked the sheet about the pay when you signed the application?"

"I wasn't asking about that." His voice sounded more serious than before.

Sighing, Kensi turned to face her Partner, "It was something I should've told you a long time ago, Marty but I was afraid."

"Afraid?" Deeks questioned. Kensi lowered her eyes and became interested in the carpet pattern but she knew she has to open up to Marty if she needs him to open up to her.

"Everyone I care about left me, Deeks. My Mom, my Dad, Jack, Dom…everyone I've come to care about left me. I couldn't take a chance with you." Kensi replied as her voice quivered.

"What changed?" Deeks questioned.

"I…I don't know." Kensi blinked against the tears and lifted her head to look at Marty. Marty simply waited for her to continue.

"I don't know what changed but seeing you on that hospital bed…" Kensi trailed off, willing herself to not remember how he was when she first saw him after everything.

Marty patted the spot next to him on the bed, inviting her to sit with him, knowing that Kensi needed that comfort. Kensi settled next to him and Deeks placed his right hand around her, comforting her with the fact that he's alive and with her.

"Did you know that Hetty's okay with us being together?" Deeks questioned out of the blue.

"You talked to Hetty about us?" Kensi frowned.

"It was the other way around. She talked to me about us." Deeks commented. He waited for some reaction from her. Kensi raised her eyebrows in suspicion. Hetty wasn't known to interfere with their private lives.

"Did you know that Director Shepard was Gibbs' lover when she was his partner?" Deeks questioned again. Kensi shook her head in the negative.

"What are you trying to say, Deeks?" Kensi questioned as his line of conversation was throwing her off.

"Simple, there's nothing in the rulebook that can stop us and Hetty is fine with us being together as long as it doesn't affect our effectiveness in the field as partners." Deeks replied. Kensi caught the implied meaning but the lost girl in her, the one that made her a sceptic since Jack left her wanted to hear the words.

"Is there a point to this conversation?" Kensi cocked her head to a side.

"And they say men are dense." Deeks commented cheekily. Kensi raised her eyebrows this time in irritation.

Shaking his head in amusement, Deeks finally admitted to what he had tried to imply, "What I am trying to say is I love you."

"I know." Kensi replied simply with a smile that lit up Marty's world before leaning up and pressing her lips to his.

**Six Months Later**

"Ziva, McGee. My Office." Gibbs' voice rang through the bull pen.

Both the Special Agents stood up and looked confused and threw glances at the Tony before but followed the order.

"Yes, Boss." McGee questioned as soon as the lift was stopped between floors. Tony looked at the Elevator once before welcoming the new guy walking into the bull pen. Gibbs had already briefed him about the guy and the purpose of the visit.

"We have a TAD to our Team …" Gibbs started speaking.

"Um…why do we need a TAD, Boss." McGee interrupted. Gibbs gave him a glare that made him attempt to shrink into his clothes.

"It's a favour to our friends in OSP, LA. He just joined NCIS and needs training for NCIS procedures. He's an experienced undercover Detective with LAPD and has some experience working as NCIS LAPD Liaison and will be here, helping us with the cases for the next three months." Gibbs continued.

"McGee, Ziva. If I were you, I'd be worried. We're gonna have LA version of Tony here for the next few months." Gibbs warned both the Agents.

"Don't you think I can _handle_ him?" Ziva commented.

"Have you heard of Hetty Lange and Kensi Blye?" Gibbs questioned.

"I worked with Hetty a few times." Ziva replied with a shudder.

"I've met Kensi." McGee replied.

"Well, if even a hair on this man is hurt, we'll have to answer to them. So, be very careful about what you do or say to him." Gibbs warned as he restarted the elevator to reach the bull pen where he found Marty Deeks and Tony chatting up. A rare smile lit up on his face as he saw the younger men.

"Just like we have to answer to you when we try to do something to Tony." McGee muttered under his breath as he stepped out of the elevator.


End file.
